Hey folks, welcome to the new whine/general topic thread. Feel free to use this thread to discuss anything that is on your mind. Caregiving- related stuff, life after a loved one's death, your own emotional wellbeing. Whatever..........anything on your mind.
Next time your mother throws up in your face that you are living in a friend's house, remind her that she is too. Tell her ," People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones".
I've heard the same thing he said before, but for some reason it resgnated with me so incredibly much more than before.
It was about worry, why do we worry? Worrying has never changed a dam thing in life. It's never solved a problem, all it does is create problems for are health.
It went something like that. It was just a very powerful uplifting message.
You can tell her this is your house and it is clean enough for you. That this is your life and those are your dogs and they are staying and she is going back to her home as soon as it can be arranged. You will help her pack and get whatever transportation is needed. She will be upset but what's new. She's upset anyway.
Firm boundaries are needed here, doggiemom. Never allow anyone who is that manipulative and mentally unhealthy into your home again. Prayers with all this. Just send her back to her home as soon as possible no matter what she says. It is clearly nonsense. Look after you and don't let these sick people interfere with your life.
She has a degenerative spine, was told not to reach. She if course did, now there is more stuff she can't do. But she will anyways and it will just happen again. But for the most part her cognition is pretty good. But you can't reason with her at all. That's just the way it is. It could be just the fact that her brain is slowly dieing.
Your not going to be able to reason with her or make deals with her . Like I'll do this if you do that. The aging brain and the horrible anxiety just doesn't work that way.
On top of your worries about the dogs and everything else you have been though. You also need to understand that living with someone so high anxiety is going to increase your anxiety times 10. I can only be with my mom so long before I feel my old pain in my neck creeping back in.
Sorry your going through this
if it’s mental, I don’t see major decline as she is still able to do all physical things by herself and most mental. She just has horrible anxiety. She was literally crying saying “The smell of your dogs is making me ill” and saying I’m filthy. I am not a neat freak but hardly dirty. I don’t believe in constant cleaning. She had a mental break down because a bug touched her in bed. I had to get an exterminator here before she’d sleep in her bedroom. Right now I am working on getting a car. My dogs are my ESA.
Your brother chose to take care of your mother for 10 years that doesn't mean you have to serve a 10 year jail sentence with your mother now.
That's not how life works and you can tell your brother that.
I thought you were moving back home to a supportive environment but it seems you escaped one bad environment for another.
The good news is you are or will be working so you hopefully can afford a place if your own.
I am sorry your mother is being like this about you and your dogs. It sounds like she has or is getting cognitive issues.
Tell her you don't need help settling and to move home or out or whatever you have to do.
I've never prayed for them but I have felt bad for them. Actually I never look at them I turn a blind eye to them, forget they are even there.
I wasn't though. I actually do pray for the lobsters. I feel so sorry for them all pushed together in a small tank until someone buys one and sticks it in boiling water alive. Sigh.................Best not to think of such things. Life is cruel. And no, I don't eat lobster. Never been a real fan of crustaceans. I do eat other fish so I guess that makes me a hypocrite.
Joking, yes.
I did not even make it up, but found it somewhere.
As far as fear of running out of chocolate-I have no fear-because I would never let that happen! (lol.)
Gershun,
I know you are concerned about all living things-it is a lovely attribute, and shows your sensitivity, which is a real thing.
So, you knew I was joking about the lobsters?
Jokes are never a good thing if one has to explain it's a joke.
Thought your were joking but no vino phobia exists.
Cenosillicaphobia -fear of running out of beer.
NOCHOCOPHOBIA - fear of running out of chocolate. That would not be acceptable, although there is concern about shortages of cacao.
Were you praying that the lobsters were going to taste good?
🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️🦞️
It is the fear of running out of wine.
So funny especially about your cat or your cat’s behind being introduced to strangers. I am sure he/she is cute kitty.
Yeah, it was that kind of stress, and I forgot to say I passed the destination when driving dH to a tech meeting. But they served him pizza there, and I went home, did not have to cook. (No pizza for me, lol.)
Gershun,
If your cat wasn't the most famous before this, he is now!
This did make me laugh, picturing his butt-first presentation.
Golden,
Same here, dH will be able to do amazing intelligent things, even remember. However, cannot follow a simple instruction coming from me. I cancelled the editing/printing project we were doing for the last two days. It became so frustrating and discouraging to me when he deleted the new draft and kept the old draft instead. I cannot complete the project without him, so I cancelled it to save my own life, (and his).
Thinking, I was trying too hard. Now, I am not. No one will miss the Newsletter!
I get what I call “overwhelmedness paralysis” and shut down. My brain goes off on its own for a break.
I am happy and relieved to report that I am myself again.
You, Send, are under a great deal of stress. Much responsibility with little to no control. You can only react. Have confidence that you will be yourself again.
So, hubs and I are at the grocery store the other day. I was at the seafood section. I'm a big animal/any living being lover so I go over to the lobster tank and pray for the lobsters. (Yes, I know) Anyways, I see the girl working there looking at me and smiling. So I walk over to her and say "Oh, you must have seen me praying for the lobsters" She just looked at me with her hand by her ear indicating she couldn't hear me. So I said it louder. She still couldn't hear. But others could. I walked away with my face so red. Then I looked down and saw that my fly was undone too. Yep, yep, yep..............
Same day I'm in the elevator of my bldg. A realtor was in there with a potential tenant. I had my cat in his carrier with me. I held the carrier up and said "Here's the most famous tenant in the bldg" They both kind of just looked at me. When I got out of the elevator I realized my cat's butt was facing the opening so that's all they probably got a glance of.
Yeah, just another day in the life of someone who always puts her foot in their mouth.
beatty - ((((hugs))) to you. Sorry about the covid and the haggard look, but the weight loss would be more than OK in my book.
R is doing very well, but he does have some specific memory loss - the password (which he used daily) to his bashed up phone. Yet he is going through the papers he recovered from his vehicle and knows exactly what is missing. Perhaps it will come back yet. I think he has some other memory loss too which is to be expected. Now that the headaches are less he notices it more. It shook him when he saw his vehicle at the pound. His injuries could have been so much worse. His leg with the knee replacement was not injured at all. Praise God!!!
Thanks for your support everyone!
Making very small changes can help.
Today, I am able to pay bills.
The sweet potato plant can be revived and trimmed.
I found a neighbor who knows how to do this, and she can plant them next to her russet potatoes.
Btw "How about "Move more, eat less?"
I told my Doctor a while back I had put on weight, added I had moved less, eaten more. He paused, looked at me, laughed.
Have a laugh too. It's all we can do, right?
Since then, Covid visited (again). I lost my taste & smell. Lost weight, got more grey hair. I have stayed slimmer, although probably more "what's wrong with her" rather than "What's she doing?"
Haggard is my new look. I am embracing it.