You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
So, tonight, I'm watching the show "Sex sent me to the ER." I'm laughing hard throughout the show. There is one scene where a couple decided to do IT in the front seat of the car. They were vigorously enjoying themselves. Father was watching it and then said aloud, "They don't have to show off!" (Huh???)
On another scene, the couple were doing some pretzel moves. The guy fell off the bed, landed on the floor and broke his ankle. My dad was confused and asked me, "what happened?" I didn't answer right away because how do you explain THAT to your own father?! But he asked again. So I answered, "They were playing on the bed. He fell off and got hurt."
My dad asked, "You're hungry?"
I said, "yes."
He replied, "I'm Frank." .... then he started laughing.
As I was cleaning him up, he gave a gasp. I turned quickly to see what was wrong. He was staring in panic at his feet and then exclaimed, "Where's my shoes?" Well, now I know what's his first priority when it comes to clothing!
Too funny. I love this thread - it helps keep things lighthearted.
I'm such an a**hole lately (yes, she's been a pill lately and apparently knows it)
I didn't know whether to laugh or cry
Aw, Jeanette - those are the comments that *almost* make everything worthwhile and give us the strength to keep going some days. Sounds odd, but just someone acknowledging how difficult they're being to care for...that just helps some, doesn't it?
She said 'I don't want gas - I'm constipated again.' ( She meant the Sennokot laxative)
And then there was the time she told a man that she didn't like him 'acting so impotent.' (!)
Bedridden dad exclaimed, "Something's burning! I better get ready to run!"
My contribution: Edna's right side was badly effected from her stroke and both arm and leg become rigid without imposed movement. She almost always wakes up and as I slowly get it moving, she quips, "Stiff as a peter, huh?" and thus begins the laughter .. and the peeing. And more laughter. And more pee. At least I know she's emptying her bladder.
"People could go there and have sex," she said brightly.
The Sex Hotel. I crack up whenever I think about it.
I see in my peripheral vision, he's searching all over the bed and end table. He finally asked me, "Did you give me gum? I cannot find it."
Ooops! I forgot!
Mother asked me why I didn't go to college on the GI bill. I told her that I wasn't military. She asked my why I didn't enlist? I said "During Viet Nam?" !!
I prepared his ice cream in a bowl. Drizzled some chocolate fudge on it, mixed it up then gave him. As he was eating it, he kept humming with appreciation. Hours afterwards, he kept saying, "That ice cream is good! Do we still have more?"