You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
I had to laugh, she was so sincere, all I could say was "well sweetie you have me there." And we both laughed.
Once my grandmother, a minister's wife, was in the hospital for a lung infection. Because she had really bad dementia at that time, they ended up putting her in a lock down floor to keep her from wandering out of the hospital. We went to see her and she was telling us that she was at a women's church convention. Because it does no good to try to convince them otherwise, we just went along with it. A few minutes later she wanted to walk down the hall to the TV room. We all went out into the hall and walking in front of us was a woman with a hospital gown on. Her rear was out for the whole world to see. Mom never blinked an eye. It struck me as really funny that my grandmother thought she was at a church women's convention, but that the sight of this woman's rear never even registered with her.
G: Hey GrMa, what are you trying to do?
GrMa: Push the button. {doorbell button so we know she wants something = "call button"}
Me: Well, mom we are all right here. You can just say "Hey J" and then tell me what you need.
GrMa: O.K...... Hey, J! Will you come over here and push this button.
When i was applying for Medicaid for Mom she had an accordion folder with all of her information init...labeled A to Z.
I was looking for her Social Security card and couldn't find it.
After all, if you were looking for a Social Security card, wouldn't you look under the "S" folder? [punch line coming]
When I told her it wasn't there she took the folder from me and immediately found it...under the "I" folder.
I asked her why the "S"ocial Security card was under the "I" folder.
Her answer...drum roll please...
Because it was "I"mportant!!!
Under that logic shouldn't the entire accordion folder have been labeled important?
"Yeah Right...HELLO!!!" then giggled. I knew at her comment she was thinking the same thing I did about him... looking like a nerd... but she thought the girl was calling him a sweetheart. I really wish I could video this stuff it's much better in an eye witness view.