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I agree, Geo123 - much needed humor right now, when it's in short supply around here!
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Took Mom with Alzheimer's to day care on Friday. Returned home, her hubby, L was just finishing breakfast. He then says to me, I just broke a tooth. I am thinking well there goes any part of a day I might have had. I called the dentist who wanted to know if L was having any pain. L said no. Dentist said as long as there isn't any pain we can wait to see him until next week, call on Monday morning.

Later Friday, I offered him a caramel, his favorite. He declined saying he better not have anything that chewy and sticky with the tooth problem. Then thinking about it I thought that was a good idea since the sugar may get in there and start causing pain.

Called the dentist yesterday morning and got L over there about 11:30. The dentist then came out and told me he thought he had the bridge fixed! WHAT?! No wonder there was no pain!

The sad part is that I now am fairly certain that dementia is starting in him as well. L told me he knew it was his bridge, but I don't think he did, and possibly not until the dentist told him. They cover up so well in the early stages.

Maybe I will laugh tomorrow, I know the dentist is.
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This morning she asked what that thing on the table was. And asked what the printer was and what yet another blanket was. Really is all that starting to leave her?
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Glad, the consultant in geriatric psychiatry that my Mum has been seeing has said that mum is already in the moderate stage of dementia that means one of two things the first of which is impossible according to him.
1. She skipped the first stage
2. She knew something was wrong and masked it.
Apparently as we get older we DO mask little problems and even when we notice that the problems are increasing we still try to mask them and he thinks that it exactly what she had done for probably about 2-3 years and I have to say she has done it damned well because while I thought some things were 'odd' I wasn't aware it was dementia
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Anon, yes L, he is masking his cognitive decline as my Mom did for probably five years. It must scare him to death as he has watched my Mom, who is now entering the later stages dementia and has been working on her for about 10 years now. Maybe even sooner. She was always losing something even when I was in high school, a very long time ago.
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Depressing. I think I might have the beginnings of dementia, too. I wonder if my doctor will take me seriously. Twice I just care back from lunch. Went to the restroom. Then walked out of the building to go home or to lunch. I'm getting waaaay too forgetful. All those stress and daily headaches killing my brain cells.

Glad, it sounds like L does have it. My dad never hid his forgetfulness. We just attributed it to old age. I cannot even do that. He must be very worried about it and being in denial.
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Evident1 - I thought your recount of you and your father's plane ride was so funny. I was just imagining the image you and the flight attendant. Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that my dad is now grunting like that! It is soooo weird to him softly grunting. Every time I hear him grunting, I think of you and your story.
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So today I asked what would like for lunch Mum? Fish - no surprise there then. Having anticipated this I said great I have got some rainbow trout for you is that ok? I said I wanted fish not meat why dont you listen ...wha are you an idiot? Clearly not going to win this one I sarcastically said no I am the hcef I thought you might have liked rainbow trout with lemon and prawn sauce and some steamed vegetable ....Hmmmmm she said that would be good. I give up!
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chef^ I so wish I could type
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LOL Sometimes it's almost as if you are watching a Monty Python skit! I was driving the other day, Mom in passenger seat, and I went to lift the center console and she said "I thought you were going to hit me on the head"
I said" I'd NEVER hit you!!"
She: "No, but I bet you've thought about it"....
What??? Seriously?? I mean, where in the world does "she" go when the craziness comes back??? It's almost like multiple personality disorder. And for the record, I've never thought about hitting her either, just running far, far away and screaming at the top of my lungs...
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You're doing well Francis - the morning Mum woke me up (at stupid o'clock -something like 3.30 am) she poked me so hard in the face that it scabbed over. I have to say it was momentary and never happened again but in that moment I tell you I could easily have put that walking stick somewhere the sun dont shine and yes I d*mned nearly did hit her purely because I wondered who the hell was trying to kill me at silly oclock - it was an automatic reaction. These days she is now mostly using a rollator indoors outside of that a wheelchair - the stick was consigned to the bin immediately. Have I wanted to hit her? No....Have I wanted to hit her with a few home truths about the person she was ? Oh god yes at least 3 times a day
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I read an amusing question in a UK post from someone I know to be quite gullible bless her. She is a carer for her Mum and was asked on April 1st (our April Fools Day) if she had registered herself as a carer with the government (which she doesnt have to do of course). She said no and asked what she should have done....bless her. They told her she needed to complete 2 forms. They werent sure what they were called but it was form 5H1T and a P155 well bless her she rang the relevant office and asked the question - the man on the phone said..... I think you may have been the butt of an Aprils fools joke my dear. Write it down in capitals and you will see why. She was mortified but I have to say while I understand how she felt I did giggle .... a lot
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Jude your poor friend. I have to say that my sense of humour was an early casualty of the whole malarkey, too.
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Im desperately clinging on to mine - today wasnt one of those days - courtesy of DWP CM (thats like your state payments to carers for those of you in USA) I get a huge amount from them as CM will know it is now 62.10 a week providing I do over 35 hours a week - it does not increase with increased care needs.

I have been trying for 15 weeks to get payment reinstated and today was told they are understaffed
their workload is high
I couldnt possibly understand what has to be considered
Now I actually dont care if they are understaffed
I dont think they know what a high workload is
And as an ex senior manager in a corporation I suspect I could understand what has to be considered

Sorry sense of humour took over - I said since I aman honours graduate and not an imbecile perhaps you couldn't explain it to me in terms I wouldn't find patronizing, add that to the fact that you are not confined to caring for someone who can emit faecal and urine output at any given time day or night and demand my attention immediately , add to that the fact that you are not constantly having to talk to idiots who think you are an imbecile , I think I would happily swap positions - h*ll I might even get paid too!

I thought it was funny she didnt - still no pay!
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Jude, you are a riot (or at least could instigate one hahaha)!
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Jude, another April Fools' Day fun-and-games was that all the Carers' Assessments got bundled under another structure - the finances advisor who came to see us about mother's funding gave me strict instructions to get mine redone. Academic now, for me; but my guess is that your application has got tangled up among all the parcels being passed? God knows who's supposed to be doing what. Can you retrace your application to the beginning and start your calls there? Though quite honestly by the time you've done all the admin involved it's amazing there are 35 hours left in the week for sleeping, never mind caregiving. Sorry you're having a frustrating time of it. Is your local CarersUK branch any help?
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Woman on a mission here. I got really incensed and rang them back. Luckily I didnt get the same woman. Ah yes she said you rang earlier how can I help? Well if you look at the notes you will see you haven't paid me says I politely - yes yes I can see that how can I help you? I can so feel the steam starting to brew. Well I would like a call back from a manager please.....through gritted teeth ....hmmmmmm she is clearly reading the notes that probably tell her i have already rung them over 10 times and that I am quite cross. let me put you through to our senior advisor....

OKaaay says I thinking I am going to kill someone soon. Male voice very stern I believe you think you have been underpaid? In that sort of silk sarcy tone I know so well - hell I use it a lot! No no sir I dont (I like to wrong foot them)

Oh Im sorry I misunderstood....

I am wanting to speak to someone senior because for the last 10 weeks I have been talking to what I can only class as incompetent fools... and before you get cross with me I completed all the forms twice, I sent in the documents 3 times, I have been told it has been referred 4 times and lied to 3 of those times to my knowledge and now I am told you are overworked...well in my capacity as an ex senior manager of a corporation we had one motto to staffing. If you do it right first time you get less phone calls, make life easier for everyone ineternal and external and therefore can manage effectively and this is not what I am seeing is it.

Well he says you will be pleased to know your payment has been approved from April 25th...

Explosion time.....I sent in forms dated 25/1 have you got those ...YES hes said
So why only from April 25th ...erm erm erm erm erm and a whole host more splutters

Right I am now placing a time limit on this...if I dont hear from you in the next 60 minutes I will take this to the press and I will twitter until it goes viral and believe me I have no joy in saying this but it will happen additionally I will talk to my brand spanky new MP and he will take notice because he wont want bad press either.

Erm erm erm I will see what I can do.

No you wont I dont want you to see what you can do I want it rectified in the next hour.

15 minutes later result oversight apology is there anything else we can do for you?

Yes you can send your staff to proper training on effective working and total quality management....or sack them

No sense of humour? well actually he laughed and said I can understand why you feel that way. I can therefore only conclude that there is a human working there it just takes 3 months to find them
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We hear from our parents how much better education was for their generation, how they learned the three "R"s because children did what they were supposed to, listened to their parents, got a quality education, etc...

Those of you who have heard that ad nauseum throughout your lives might get a chuckle out of this little ditty from my Mom's children, as I know they learned such elevated poetry and such:

Spring is sprung,
The flowers riz,
I wonder where the birdies is.
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Geo -

The lidl boids're on the wing -
Ain't that absoid?
The lidl wings're on the boid!

I have absolutely no idea why the anthology I saw this quoted in insisted it had to be recited with a New York accent. Can you enlighten me on that???
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No idea about this one. The previous one is a Midwestern one. It's probably a way to annoy their parents, just like whatever we did to annoy OUR parents when we were kids.

However, I also quite frequently get the recitation about "beans" (the musical fruit...) and I get the impression that one is fairly widespread across the US.
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As we were in an area with lakes and cows and the like it was inevitable that the children are going to fall in something rather foul smelling at some point especially when it is slippery after the rain. One little girl was sat in her pretty frock with a cow pat splurged on the back of it. I think I may have used virtually a whole pack of wet wipes to try and get her into a state where she wouldnt stink her mums car out. After I had done I taught her a rhyme I learned as a child: Little seagull flying high dropped a morsel from the sky ooooh said xxxxxxx(insert relevant name) with a sigh its a good job cows dont fly. At least it put a smile back on her face bless her
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I have to tell you guys a funny that happened this morning. I went to see mom and she was in the therapy room, so I took her back to her room for breakfast and then back to the therapy room to finish her exercises. They had her working with her hands and I asked if they were going to work with her legs today - the therapists said she wasn't on the list for it - I asked why, because that's the goal, is to get her walking so she can go home. The therapist said Mom walked from her bed to the bathroom and back today, but had trouble getting the toothpaste out of the tube, so they were working with her hands. I was happy she had walked so much, and said maybe she could get home sooner - the therapist said no, we should use the full 20 days that Medicare pays for, because it will help Mom - and Mom looked up at her and said, "SHADDUP!" The therapist looked at her and said, "What??" - so mom repeated it.

The therapist was a little shocked that my easy-going, mild-mannered Mom said that - twice. LOL
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She wants to go home.
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yes, we get that, tlhanger. Trust me.
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My mother has started to lose control over appropriate speech too.

She has never ever been able to be really up front about what she wants needs etc. If we go out for dinner she always has what someone else does rather than make a decision for herself ...drives me nuts so I always choose something she wont eat just to be difficult! Now dementia is setting in it is much much worse

Today was a point in question - what sre YOU having ...squid says I knowing she hates it and then she said really loudly why cant you bloody choose something I like for once. Well I nearly fell off my chair and then saw the funny side of things. Mum NEVER swears she would always say it is only people who dont have the skills to speak effectively who find the need to swear - well that would be me then because I am awful for it especially when driving (because of course I am the best driver in the world [not!])

Anyway for her to swear was such a shock; for her to swear loudly even more so and in such a public place like a small restaurant unbelievable. The waitress was speechless and mum realised she had said something wrong but wasn't sure what so she made it SO much better by saying - what are you looking at you fat cow? We had dinner at home today - I really couldnt tolerate the embarrassment.

After we had eaten she said I like your cooking better than going to my daughters - Im glad you took me out of there.....Ho hum I am the only daughter she has so am I the fat cow or does she think I am the carer - either way she clearly didnt want to eat there!
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Oh my goodness, Jude! LOL
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Jude, was that you listening over my shoulder on Sunday? I always tease my mom that she is going to have squid and sauerkraut. But, my mom only sticks out her tongue. And remember "bloody" is not considered swearing on this side of the pond. But the fat cow stuff, my mom stares and points at large people frequently. I feel like cutting off her bloody finger! LOL!
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Bloody isnt here either if you are referring to a steak that is rare or a finger that is cut glad and yes I was sneaking around waiting to hear you offer one of my fave foods then I was going to jump out and steal it. I adore squid with garlic mayo love love love it.

Mum knows who I am today she told the doctors at the hospital that if I wasnt such a pig she would like me a bit - cheers mum
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Mom asked Dad if they had to go to the flea market on Sunday and of course he said yes. I asked him why and he said he had to meet a customer. Then Mom asked what customer? Dad said you know that Pinocchio guy. Then he looked confused and embarrassed, as if he realized what he said made no sense . A second later though he got this silly grin on his face and said "...and Tweety Bird, I thought I saw a puddy cat!" He and I both cracked up. Poor Mom just looked upset.
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I walked in to check on my mother when she commented she needed someone to nag her. What did you say mom, you need someone to what, nag you? I can do that! I was holding my laughter in of course as I kept a straight face and asked her again. You need someone to nag you? I need someone to nag me...you know, keep me in line. Oh I know mom, trouble is who can we get that would be able to keep you in line. She needs someone to nag her. Is she for real?
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