You just have to laugh sometimes.....
Some of my recent favourites are:
"I had a terrible night last night. I had to stay awake .. until I went to sleep" (said several times over, with greater emphasis each time, because of course if you repeat it, then it must make sense.)
"drinking water causes gas, so no water, and no salt, cause salt makes you drink water"
"the toothpaste took all the enamel off my teeth in just 3 days!"
Dad: come over here, I have to tell you something.
Me: what is it Dad?
Dad: They are trying to do things to me.. to experiment on me..they can't be trusted
Me: Who Dad?
Dad: All of them... the doctors and the nurses
Me: Wha?
Dad: They are not who they say they are....they are disguised
Me: Wha? Who are they then?
Dad: Aliens
Me: No way Dad..
Dad: Yes, it's true they are going to take me to their spaceship when you leave the room and experiment on me, I heard them talking...PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THEM!
Me: Okay Dad, I will protect you. I won't let them get you.
In came extra chairs , ice cream -flavor of choice - and all her visitors,
Mom called me later and said "We have a lovely ice cream party today."
I said "How nice"
Mom said " I do not know if it was a Welcome Party or a Party for my Wake"
OMGOSH we all laughed...she is very funny and keeps the staff in stitches...
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(¸.•´ (¸.•` ¤ Chirp Chirp Cricket Hugsღ
Sue...."How are you Shirley?"
Shirley..."I'm a bit worried about finding new lumps on my knees."
Sue..."Oh? What are they?"
[drum roll]
Shirley..."My boobs."
That cracked me up!
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Thanks LindaMS!!!
So I was going through the consultation to get an idea of her hair type, perm history etc. I said "your hair is nice and thick but it is very straight", she responded..." the only curl hair I have, is between my legs." It is funny that we all worry about curbing our mouths, at work, not to say anything inappropriate out of respect, but the biggest "gutter mouths" are the elders. I love them, they are for real !!!! I've got to start writing a book.
I said,"No, I just got here." He said, "I was laying here and heard a voice, it kind of sounded like Mom(my mom not his). She said,"what the He## are you still doing in bed! So I pressed my button for the girls to help me get up." It was pretty funny, I don't know how many times I heard my Mom yell that down the hallway when I was still living at home.
She told her RN, "you're beautiful." The CNA jokingly asked, "aren't I beautiful too?" Mom told her, "if I said that I would be lying."