I am the only one without obligations, but I have lived independently for many years with cats, but no husband. My brothers want me to move back in with my parents to assist them, but Mom says no cats,which pains me greatly as they are my family too, not to mention the abrupt loss of freedom and feeling as if I were instantly back in high school. It is a small town with little job opportunities so they are planning on giving me an allowance! Wouldn't it be easier on all of us if I transitioned into this role less abruptly by getting an apt. nearby and spending the time needed, and then later moving in or convincing them to go to assisted living?
My situation is really different from yours....but...I also add my voice to the majority here...
Do not do this
You have brothers near by, they can handle this. They do nt want it? Sure, I get that. It is a huge burden. BUT..if they pass this burden to you it will weight hundreds of times harder on you then it would by them sharing this together.
From the sound of this...they want to basically dump and run. I advise you to not put yourself in this position.
Beware.
As for you pr dad. The early stages of dementia come with a fair amount of paranoia. My Dad routinely accuses me of bringing in strangers to mess up the house at night. He has claimed I have locked him it....even though the locks were on his side of the door...and it was I that couldn't get in..not him that couldn't get out. Just a few examples of the nutty stuff you can expect. Plus the serious memory loss. Your Mom is burned out for a good reason. Beware. Don't let yourself get pulled in deep.