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Omg, I guess I am not the only one that has to constantly deal with poop issues. It's everyday -- first constipation, then stomach aches, then giving of laxatives, then diarrhea, then constipation again. I guess when you get old you have lots of time on your hands so your poop is just one more thing to worry about. DRIVES ME NUTS!!!!
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yeah, the never ending cycles of packing up and blowing out have got to be painful, frustrating and unhealthy!

is there anything she would be willing to take more regularly in preventive mode - with a watery stool, hold maybe one dose and then use a lower dose daily, e.g. start with 1/2 to 1 dose Miralax daily and then maybe just 1/2 every other day?
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This is the necessary combination: high fibre foods and lots of water. It has to be both, not just one or the other. The high fibre foods can be normal foods, not processed stuff with "high fibre" on the label. Lots of fruits and veggies, whole grains and LENTILS. Lentils sweep out your system.

Something like a red lentil, tomato and pumpkin chili, served with homemade coleslaw, then a homemade date square for dessert - BOOM.
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margarets, that sounds DELICIOUS. And you are right, just loads of fiber without fluid can even pack you up worse.
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This seems to be a "dementia thing" as I was told by nursing staff 3 yrs ago. My youngest adult son took his Grandmom several times to get laxatives! ( several times) w/o my knowledge. They become affixiated in their bowels. But this too shall pass as one if many stages if this terrible disease. That was 3.5 yrs ago. She was placed shortly thereafter. 3 years ago the 15th of this month
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Also a daily topic of conversation with my 89 year old mother with severe degenerative spine disease, and on narcotics to manage severe pain. (constipation is a side effect of narcotics). We too recently spent a night in the ER for a clean out, a very degrading and uncomfortable experience for any human being. We anticipate repeat visits down the road as needed, and monitor a daily regimin of laxative products. We try to grin and bear the daily conversations, even over breakfast, since we, my sister and I who are co-cargivers are the only support system she has. And...as we are both in our mid to late 60's ourselves, we realize our own vulnerability as we age, and hope that we to have someone to talk to as we go through these effects of aging.
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Get a powder called Calm its magnesium, you put it in juice and it will help her poop. It will also relax her and possibly give her a better attitude, my mom goes threw this at 96 years old, it's one way or the other, she can sit in a chair all day, get up go to bed and than wake me up in the middle of the night with a depends full of poop. Than she can go 7 days and nothing it drives me insane. I wish all of you luck in this challenge we have taken on, thanks for sharing it helps a lot !!!
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My day is ruined even before it started......today is another 'constipation day'.....hoorah! My mother has been going fairly regular (I have seen it), but if you ask her.....she hasn't had a bowel movement in the last year (in her mind). Anyways, she was moaning this morning and I had to give her, her 'drug of choice'......laxatives. Now she is complaining about the cramping in her stomach......which indicates a bowel movement with soon be happening......and then tomorrow and the next day it will start all over again and she will be begging for the laxatives again. The same vicious cycle will repeat itself again and again. The elderly have a certain knack at being very capable at torturing their caregivers. I think the elderly have a secret society that plots and gives them ideas on how to mentally torture their caregivers.....LOL. Like I always say......the curse continues.
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miralax works! and you get nothing explosive like you do with the magnesium citrate. it can also. be mixed in milk or jiuce and is flavourless.

my mother used to be a milk of magnesa junkie... this has cured her.
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hi roscoe888
I know its hard to deal with, with my mom it's either poop all night or no poop at all, I really want to talk about something other than my mom's b/m's I keep track everyday on paper so I can tell her when she last went or did not go at all. I really think we become so aware that it takes over, they know what they are doing and I know that my mom can choose to get even when she wants to. I'm sorry you are going threw this, believe me you and I are not alone, thanks for your responds it does help. It's not a curse but at times it does feel as though it is, love a lot and than cry.
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My Mum has a bad hernia. She had surgery on it many years ago, but any help that was, has worn off. I am sure you would know if she had a hernia? But, just sayin'... this sometimes causes them to suffer more, even if they aren't constipated, they think they are.
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Like I said two days ago......the constipation ( in my mothers mind) cycle will start all over again. She blasted two days ago and already today she is moaning and groaning again about being constipated. (Is it possible to be constipated two days after you had a fecal blast?) Anyways, she is begging for her 'fix'....her drug of choice.....her laxative pills. This crazy thing repeats itself over and over again......there is no end to it. She has zero patience to let anything work to produce a bowel movement. I cannot try any of your suggestions....because if something does not bring immediate relief, then my mother will not try it. She wants the quickest acting laxative on the market. See what my life is like.....every two days or so.....I'm held hostage my my mothers bowel movements. Boy, that would make a great topic for a talk show. A 54 year old unmarried man.......living a crazy life with his 88 year old mother......held hostage by a lady obsessed with shitting........the curse continues.
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I didn't read all of the comments so forgive me if you've already read this information on a previous comment. When I was in nursing school we were told that one does NOT have to have a BM every single day and that a generation ago (or our parent's generation) were given home remedies by their mom to ensure a BM every day = the belief that we have to have a BM every day. And you're so right, there are people (elderly people) who are OBSESSED with this. Yes, your mom feels that not having pooped for 2 days means she's constipated but medically it doesn't. But I get that your problem is explaining this to your mom.

My dad had the exact opposite problem and our days revolved around his bathroom habits. Our trips out to the Dr. or wherever revolved around pooping. Our excursions had to be timed just right or my dad would end up in front of a gas station with poop running down his leg and me wondering how to get him into the house without leaving a trail. I had to don a Hazmat suit just to clean his bathroom and I ran interference to ensure that my dad never touched anything......ever.

My heart goes out to you.
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Eyerishlass, my understanding of the current thinking on BMs is that it should be an easy, smooth process, kind of no-muss no-fuss. No straining, no long waits on the throne, no surprises, no explosive moments.
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My heart goes out to you. You just described my mother, except mom isn't constipated! She is in her 90's has dementia and is obsessed with her bowels, sneaks Milk of magnesia, gets diarrhea, messes her pants, throws them away. Constantly claiming she hasn't gone in days, although there is stuff in the toilet. We search her apartment and throw the MoM out, but she goes to the facility store and gets more - plus suppositories. She barely eats and doesn't bathe now either. We can't stop her. She refuses to go to assisted living. I'm told this obsession is not uncommon for some seniors. I think its partly a generational thing as I can remember my grandmother asking me if I "moved my bowels". I send you a hug!
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I could add a comment to this every single day if I wanted. My mother's bowel movement rage is alive and strong within her every moment. I gave her two laxative pills Thursday evening......she 'blasted' on Friday morning. Then on Saturday she was complaining to me again the she hasn't had a bowel movement in days. This is my life.....held hostage by my mother's crazy obsession with pooping. If any of you could see what I go through each day. It's absolute craziness....it's almost as if she is losing her mind. She has let this obsession take over her life. Every waking moment is controlled by this.....and I have to be here to take the wrath. No one knows the hell I endure.....no one knows the craziness, the bizarre every day life that goes on in this house. Who would have thought that my mother would ever turn out this way in her elder years. I take this torture......almost as if I'm being tested.....for one day I know I will be free from this. I'm trying to do the best I can with this caregiving.......why does the weird crazy obsession have to take over my mother and cause a living hell for me?
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People who have Dementia have no memory...I myself get a sick feeling when I cannot go, but real licorice (made from licorice root) takes care of that, I know some people were given castor oil, but another not so bad remedy is ghee.
When you use those artificial ways, the abdominal gets cramps and doesn't know how to function...diarrhea also takes away the flora of the gut, does she have yogurt (with culture) in her diet?
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caster oil, no way no how. it used to be given to pregnant women to try and induce labor. It was offered to me and I politely declined
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My mother is torturing me right now.....constipation again. It's my fault she can't go....I'm always the blame for it. I just gave her three laxative pills. When she has her bowel movement.....she will be as meek as a lamb, only to turn into a raging bull.....as soon as the constipation starts again. I'm 54 year old and confined to being a crazed caregiver. What did I ever do to deserve this? I'm in constant servitude.......24/7.....what kind of life is this? These elderly people....they want cared for at any costs......too h*** with their caregivers.......they come first in their mind. The curse continues......
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i'm right there with ya .. i couldn't have said it better
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As a caregiver for an 85 year old with Alzheimer's, I get my share of poop talk. I'm here 5 days a week, and the poop thing can be exhausting. I think your best bet is to just not argue with her. It's tough for sure, but with her not remembering her bowel movements, it seems you're dealing with other problems as well. Dementia is so hard to handle, because we think that by arguing, we all somehow get them to see that they are wrong..... nope. Arguing just makes you both miserable. Either find ways to distract her, show her pictures or watch movies she might remember, or just distract yourself, and let her be. Get some headphones and busy yourself in a different room. It will do her no good to have you as a caregiver if you are as miserable as you sound, and it will do you no good at all to have your memories of your mother become nothing but poop stories.
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By the way, sneaking some miralax into her juice everyday will help her by making her have more bowel movements, just make sure she drinks a lot during the day.
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Please understand that I am saying this because I just lost my Mom yesterday. She kept complaining about being constipated and it turned out she had a vowel obstruction. Call her doctor (if you are at all concerned) to see if there are tests that should run or I know Activa is great. And water (which my Mom refused to drink). Your Mom may be being a pain (hopefully), but involving her Doctor won't hurt.
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Lep, so sorry to hear about your mom!!
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Wow. I'm real late on reading this one. I apologize. I was told by the nurses at hospital that the bowels are a "fixation" of many people w dementia. Went thru it with my mom, to the point she'd send my son to RiteAid n get her laxatives! Behind my back he did what Grandmom said. She hid them in the bathroom! While in the hospital my mother got into a physical altercation w a male nurse bcause in front of him she stood up and peed on the floor. Just like that. Her hands were soo black and blue. Obviously that was the last time she returned to that hospital because of their " lack of knowledge" in the treatment of patients w dementia. I hope that
"This too shall pass."
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i too have joined the ranks of the poop brigade. my mom has become down right crazy. every second of everyday revolvesaround her bm's or lack thereof. she goes every three days like clock work. now because she went to the doctor and told her she hadn't had one in days, she thinks she supposed to have prescription laxitives, colace, and four fiber gummies every day. she refuses to drink more than 16 oz. a day and that lack of liquidmonly causes the fiber to act like cement. just now she came in my kitchen demanding laxitives. I explained i gave you some last night at 6 pm. and you don't need to have more this a.m., then she wanted more fiber,and more colace because the laxitive hasn't worked. i tried telling her that it doesn't work immediately, and that she doesn't eat, drink right or move at all. Nice to know I am not alone on this crappy situation!!!
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rcaton3 You are certainly not alone. everyone is different and so are their bowel habits. It is perfectly normal for someone to only have a bm every three days. i would also say that trying to change that with the use of laxatives and extra fiber is a very bad idea and you shoulkd stand your ground and refuse the request unless you want to join the brigade of following her to the bathroom with a mop and bucket. Can you buy something harmless like vitmins and put them in a laxative bottle or maybe tiny candies.
next visit to the Dr send a note ahead explaining the situation and she may listen to the Dr if given instructions to drink and eat her fuit ans veggies and keep away from the laxatives and fiber. good Luck. bowel obsessions are very common in the elderly and at any age.
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Oh yes, my mom has and is going through the obsession of constipation and overuse age of magnesium oxide bought over the counter. She would drink too much and it would take 2 days for her body to level back out so she wasn't feeling faint going from one room to the next. She finally went to the doctor after trying everything else again and was told the proper amount so she's back in her MO again. I'm sure it's only a matter of time before she self medicated to her doseage again. I feel it's due to stress right now and lack of fiber as she just refuses to have any real intake of that.
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That's very true ^ Older people need to drink lots of water. I give my Mom Miralax in with a tall glass of water every morning. Miralax is awesome and there are generic versions of it, however, the generics do not work for my mom. Plenty of water gets the bowels moving. Miralax, as well as sometimes Milk of Magnesia.
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The lady I care for has chronic constipation and hard dry stools , I can tell you the amount of yogurt she eats is above average ,she takes Metamucil , m.o.m.,plenty of water and fiber. Suppositories have no effect . they melt and dribble out. If she says she is "blocked up" I just don a plastic glove and get the stool out...they are so unbelievably hard and dry its terrible. She is now on a prescription laxative but so far nothing, she also just had a colonoscopy everything is ok. Yes it is a topic of conversation every day but I always say "lets take all our water, fiber, yogurt etc..then if you start to become uncomfortable we will take care of it". This puts her at ease that I have a plan and I understand this is very uncomfortable for her! It is a tough thing to deal with its tiring for both the patient and care giver! Hang in there!
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