I need some advice! My mom has lived with my husband and myself for the last 2 1/2 years. We both agreed to have her come live with us since she was so unhappy in the nursing home. How to I tell her I don't want her to live with us anymore? It would mean a nursing home for her and that would probably just about kill her. She DID NOT adjust well the last time she was in a nursing home. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
We had a good night, found out mom has an Abdominal aortic aneurysm , we have to go get an MRI of it and her head (where she fell on the ice) Doc said the aneurysm is small and they wont even operate on her till its bigger, if mom is a canidate for surgery. Which I think she will be since she got the oka for hip reconstruction. Was interesting reading about the Abdominal aortic aneurysm but very scary, if it was to rupture she would bleed out, that is very unlikely at the size is it is now. If they hadnt done the Xray they never would have caught the aneurysm, which would not have been a good thing, so the fall was a blessing , go figure...
Isabella is a 8 month old Shih-Poo, and the love of my life. My grown daughter is very jealous!! She threw up some of the flashlight fragments this morning is at the vets. They are waiting for her to pass the rest. Fun day!!! Mom's physical therapist came today and is sending an occupational therapist to help us get her in and out of bed easier. The transferring from chair to shower to bed is the big issue. Hope your mom is OK. They can treat the aneurysm if they know that it exists. So that is a good things. Good luck and keep writing to us!!
I had the day with my husband today, I did not go to dads all day but you know he is very bored all by himself. To know that someone is counting on you to be their only social activity day after day is such a huge burden. He is doing 100% better so I don't feel bad any more about staying home.
I cannot believe your dog ate a flashlight--how was that possible? He's just a little thing is he not? I want to get myself a dog one day when I have no other pressing matters like dad. You know I told dad he should get himself a pet because they are very good buddies. I should buy him one as a birthday gift. That's it--if he is doing good still on him birthday I am going to have my sister go in a a dog for him. I think that will be good for him.
Hope everybody is doing good today. Have a good one and take care.
Alice
You be a good girl and do what the dr. says. The long term affects of you not taking care of your back is not worth it. Who is going to help with your husband if you have the surgery? They can help out with things later also. You take care of yourself and do what is necessary.I'm praying for you to have the courage and strength to follow thru as you need to. Let us know what is going on.
I had surgery an came home 2 days later mom fell on the ice, I know it wasnt her fault but so much for me getting rest and healing! Now I go back to work Monday YIPPIIIEEE!!! I am so glad!
take care
Loving Daughter
I know when I talked to our doctor about me doing all the care and he knew of our situation, he made some recommendations for a home health aide, referred a couple of women who do this as a business who he had heard good things from, etc. The social worker came in and gave even more options that I didn't have a clue existed.
I was fortunate that things happened so quickly to get my parent's in assisted living, but I would not trade the information I got for the world. These people were incredible, although sometimes hands tied legally, but man could they be "informative" with just being extra nice with them.
Don't give up. Let us know!
195Austin sorry for your problems, I really feel for you because I am in Michigan and I sat and cried to my dads PCP and she told me that they don't do anything like that and they have no social workers. At the time my father was in the emergency room not knowing his name, what day it was, and he was seeing things everywhere like out of the cornor of his eyes acting like he was scared of something. He went outside and said the FBI was in his apartnment and they would not leave him alone. Anyway long story about the delusions, but you get the idea of his situation. On top of that he had 5 broken ribs.
OK so no one at the hospital, or with his PCP could tell me anything I was about ready to pull my hair out ( whats little their is still on top of my head because of stress ) but he pulled out of this episode and is good now.
So now we have an understanding, the next episode and dad is going into assisted living. He knows that I can not take care of him alone. I think he is so afraid that me his last child here is going to desert him like the rest of my sisters have. Poor dad but I have a life also so I got dad--actually forced him to go to this beginners (senior) class and today was his first day and he loved it!!!!! He is all excited about learning and if he can learn it that opens up a whole new thing for him to do. He can talk to other people who have interest such as he does.
So even though I had to force him I knew or was crossing my fingers that he would like it and have a new thing to do. IT WORKED YEAH FOR ME--I told him I did not want to have to sell my father on craigs list!! (Just kidding ladies)........
So things have been calm and good--I am able to get my studies done so far so good. I am hoping dad stays healthy until at least my semester is over. I am almost done with my degree and I just want it over with.......
I hope everyone is doing good. It is so good to be able to write here and share with people who really get whats going on with this caretaker role we have taken or been forced into. It just makes me feel better that someone besides me is actually going through this stuff just like me.
So have a good day and week. Take care of yourselves too!!!!!
Alice
going nuts in Solon
You do need to get in touch with your state aging services. Go to your state Web site and find a phone number and be persistent until you find the right place. You should be able to take your mother as a dependent if you are paying the bills. There are rules, of course, but you need to check into that.
You also need outside help. Ask what respite care is available free, when you get someone at your state aging services. Your mother may qualify for Medicaid. Please get some outside help. Let her get mad. This could kill you. You can't keep this up. And keep coming back here.
Carol