Follow
Share

My grandma passed away last may - i helped my dad with her paperwork while she was alive - the house was left to my brother who lives in the same area - the house is tied up at the bank mortgage - my brother gets to keep the house b/c my father is disabled but they can't put it in his name or it will mess up his medicaid- my brother doesn't have good credit and is raising 3 girls- my dad keeps asking me if i want to put it in my name- i really don't think that is a good idea. My brother is supposed to make the mortgage payment now but can't so dad is with his limited $. My dad keeps telling me with some work it would be a good investment. I'm engaged and we have a house. I don't want to tie up my credit in case we need something.

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
smilebeth, I know many 30ish young people who have the "want it now" attitude. Whether it is because mommy and daddy always paid for everything or they just expect the gravy train to last forever or they make crazy or bad decisions, I can't say. Your bro needs to get it together. He's 30 and a father and needs to set a good example for his kids. Not paying anybody back or not paying his own way is not what he should be showing his kids. The gravy train will stop one day and sorry to say daddy isn't going to be here forever. You are very wise to refuse to get involved. As I always say, he needs to grow a pair. His kids come first and they are not your responsibility nor grandpa's nor anybody else's. I hope he gets on the right path and with your encouragement, not via your checkbook, he can do just that.
(2)
Report

Its not that my dad wants it to stay in the family as much as he wants to have it fixed like he see's it in his mind. His mom was the same way. Never happy with the way it was and remodel and remodel but not with the $ or tools to do it right. I feel for my brother too. Everyone told him to slow down with the kids. He is boxing right now as a way to improve himself. He'd have to leave the town to go school. He went to the oil fields but then left after a few weeks b/c he didn't want to miss his one daughters first day of headstart. Dad got him a camper (well my uncles who killed himself) and then he left it up there b/c he got in an accident in his truck. He's been to prison b/c of youthful stupidness. He tries but he wants it right now. He's 30. He wants out but doesn't want to move to a city b/c of his girls. Its always something. So basically just send me a check. i love my brother but he has a long way to go to grow up.
(1)
Report

BTW, I feel sorry for your brother and all the working poor. Working two jobs and not having enough to make ends meet is harsh. Is there anything he could do to upgrade his job skills? (Would there be something for him in that small town if he did have better-paying skills?) Is there a service in the county to help him manage his debt load and eventually clean up his credit rating?

I really hope your brother gets a break. But getting it at your expense doesn't eliminate the misery -- it just transfers it to you.

Love your brother, but Stay Strong in protecting yourself!
(1)
Report

Stay strong, smilebeth! If you did have the time, money, and energy to fix it up and sell it, your dad wouldn't get what he wants anyway ... to keep his mother's house in the family. It is sad, but we don't always get what we want.
(0)
Report

jeannegibbs- you have it right- and i've told my father no i'm not interested several times. my brother is upset b/c he thought he could take a loan out on the house but can't so now he doesn't really want the "junk" heap. If i had lots of $ to redo the house and sell it ok - but i don't. My brother has tried to get me to sign for a vehicle for him - i won't do it - b/c i don't want to make the payments- he never pays anyone back. He will someday and feels bad but i don't do things that way.
(4)
Report

Thanks everyone!! i completly agree! My father has a spinal cord injury and lives on disability. I moved closer to him - a different issue. i don't want to be a landlord and that is what i told my dad. He doesn't want to lose his mom's house. If only he could do the work and i feel for him that he can't do that stuff anymore, but that doesn't mean i want the job. I told him i don't want the headache and when my brother can't make the payment- which he hasn't, i'm supposed to evict him? of course not my brother will see me as an easy target to pay his morgage. I pay my bills and work full time and help my family but this is one thing i'm don't want a part of. I've mentioned that to dad- b/c he tells me he doesn't have enough $ to hire anyone to help- and i say well what about the $ you are supposed to use for that and you use to keep helping your son. This has been a constant convo. He's always been this way. My brother lives in a small town and works two part time jobs but can't make ends meet. He's always wanted things like he was from a "rich" family. I offered him a job and place to stay but he doesn't want to move and i understand he would be away from his girls. But my hands are tied. Thanks i just wanted to make sure i was on target to keep saying no. Its hard sometimes when my dad weaves the story it makes me feel like i'm not a "family" member.
(3)
Report

This sounds like a horrible idea. I agree with the others. Don't do it.
(2)
Report

Let's see if I have this right ... Grandma left her house to your brother, but it is not fully paid for. Bank is not so eager to transfer the mortgage to Brother, because of his bad credit. Your father doesn't want it in his name because he is on (or applying for?) Medicaid. Your father wants your brother to deed the house over to you so that the bank will give you a mortgage, which your brother would then pay. Is that about right?

Do you want to be a landlord? Do you want to own a house and then "rent" it out for the amount of the mortgage payment? Are you willing to make the mortgage payment even when (I don't say "if") your brother misses some rent payments? Or if Dad is going to continue making the payments,what will you do when Medicaid finds out he is "gifting" so much money monthly? Are you prepared to evict your brother and deal with new renters? Do you want to take on the paperwork and tax implications of owning rental property? Who is going to put on a new roof and install a new furnace when those things become necessary? Will your brother understand that you have to charge more than the bare cost of mortgage to have a fund for these things? Or will this "business" arrangement cause lasting damage to your family relationships?

This could only be a "good investment" if you are willing/able to treat it as a business transaction. Somehow I don't think that is what your father has in mind.

Why can't your brother make the mortgage payment? Is he out of work? Disabled? On street drugs? If you want to help your brother and his three little girls, trying to help solve this underlying problem would be better than offering the bandaid of putting the house in your name. Perhaps finding a non-profit credit counseling service to help him set up and manage a plan to clean up his credit would be good.

Help your brother if you can. But doing it by becoming a reluctant landlord seems to me to be an extremely bad idea.
(4)
Report

Yes, yes, yes! What Mary said. Resist the Devil mortgage.
Follow your gut instinct, we confirm it. xo
(3)
Report

Unless you have the extra money to pay for this house and unless you are 100% comfortable with buying this house then the answer should be NO, NO, NO!!!!!!! Please do not ever compromise your credit for anyone or it'll be a day you regret for the rest of your life. And tell them you aren't interested in taking the "guilt trip".
(3)
Report

medicaid is not going to sit idly by and permit such a transfer of assets. NEVER obligate yourself for a debt unless your financially able to stand good for it because that's exactly where it will end up. trust me on that I'm paying off a 4k loan for my son while he lives a hundred miles away with his brother and smokes 200 bucks worth of weed a week.
(2)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter