We all found out my mother had stage 4 liver cancer and 1 sibling had been caring for her for 3 weeks and keeping us informed of doctor appts when we found out. It went down hill quickly and came on fast that 24 hr care was needed and hospice was called for consultation and accepted by all. Now the 1 that gave the care for 3 weeks is being very distant and will not let go of the fact that she was there and just move forward with the care she wants to run away from the situation. We have made a schedule for the 24 hr care and she removed herself I know she is hurting but not sure how to approach her she has yelled at other siblings in front of our ill mother which is very disrespectful help please we don't have much time.
I completely understand the sibling issue as we have been dealing with that for 2 years. You have to do a bit of a detachment from having a Mommy to having an elderly Mother that needs your love and care. Some siblings just can't do the caregiving but can help you in other ways. Then others will just show up as entertainment once in awhile. It just is what it is but still difficult. Stay strong.
I hope my story helps! Wishing you the best outcome possible, and stay strong for each other.