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I don't remember who mentioned the YouTube video on a mother and sons journey with dementia but that dear woman is declining just since January

It does give a great glimpse into the fear the demented feel when they're alone and scared

God bless everyone on this journey
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Don't you just love it when there is criticism for being soft hearted when that is what attracted your loved one to you in the first place?
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I'm not sure where to post this, but it is about one of the caregivers at mom's NH so I will put it here.

I went up to the NH for lunch today because I'm meeting some friends later (I usually go for dinner at 5:00). Lunch is always a sorry affair, especially for the pureed diets, because it is usually some type of cold plate or sandwich. Today M, mom's roomie, was begging please, please don't make me eat anymore. Now M does like to fuss, but she wasn't being in any way ambivalent, she adamantly refused her food. Or at least she tried to. Caregiver shoved most of it in anyway, despite protests and pleas to stop. Mom didn't want her lunch either, but she agreed to about half of her soup and a few mouthfuls of salad. I got her to try the "hot dog" but did not persist when she shook her head no. I DID insist on a glass of water. Caregiver kept questioning, I kept telling her mom was fine, she had had enough. This is just so wrong, even those with dementia should have the right to refuse their dinner. If the day comes when I am in that position I hope I have the wherewithal to clamp shut my jaw or to spit it in their face. Of course then they would probably medicate me into submission.
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That's awful, CW. Those with dementia do have the right to refuse their dinner. But no doubt caregiver gets hauled over the coals if she takes a nearly-full plate back to the kitchen, and it's quicker and easier for her to plaster it into the the poor lady than go through the hassle of explaining (and possibly documenting) how many times she encouraged her client to eat, what different approaches she tried, what the response was - I feel tired on her behalf. But I also feel sick on the room-mate's behalf.

Mind you, you can strategically shovel food into a helpless old lady's mouth but you can't stop her spitting it out again. So maybe - fingers crossed - her eyes were smaller than her stomach this time?
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Cwillie
Awful indeed
I have noticed at mom's facility people say no and turn their head away
I've also noticed the aides be in a rush and shovel faster than the pour soul can swallow

Although mom has no trouble feeding herself she is extremely slow and always the last one to finish the meal - in fact the staff is pulling the table cloth out from underneath her which unleashes the Viking in her - you don't disturb a wolf when it's eating
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There is also another thread designed just for the atrocities done to our loved ones at the hands of nursing homes.
It is called: OTHER PEOPLE BEHAVING BADLY

It seemed a necessity since all these things are happening to my friends Mom's in the nursing home or Memory Care.
So, have at it, Cwillie, and MsMadge, or anyone else.

Of course, posting anywhere, (here too) is good, never off topic here!

Sorry those bad things are happening. Meals may be all that is left, and should be enjoyable, at any cost, imo.
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I decided that I'm going to make the best out of the 4th of July at the hoca

I bought fixins for root beer floats and squirt guns
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There is one little problem with your plan, MsMadge.
The foaming root beer would clog the squirt guns, imo.
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At my home here, we are making the best out of July 1st:
White chocolate rasberry truffle ice cream, strawberry ice cream, sliced bananas, brownie bites, with strawberry preserves topping. It is diet due to NO whipped cream.
Add one Lactaid tablet. Yum!

My hubs and I already celebrated at the innnout place.
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How nice of you MsMadge...Root beer floats will be a big hit and the squirt guns will be a blast!
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Hi Luckylu! Where ya been?
I just got back from shopping...
Oh, and I thought of you and your pets when we visited the dogs.
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Yeah, Luckylu.....
The res can fill the squirt guns with almost anything....pay backs for the really mean caregivers. Lol.
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Ha ha Send
My Saturday night was nearly identical except I had cookies and cream on a cone

I see your point about filling the squirt guns with root beer better make it whisky
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I am behaving badly... I want it to rain, and rain hard... but wait until 10:00p when most of the community firework shows are over. That way it will drive indoor the neighbors who think we all enjoy having cannon sounding fireworks up to midnight, loud enough to shake the whole house, and make you jump out of your skin when you least expect it.... [sigh].
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FF, I don't blame you for your wish!! In Cali it was ridiculous on the 4th, the week leading up to it and after. Then on New Years again. I will see how Idaho is tonight. It doesn't get dark here until almost 10:30!!
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I was wondering where you were. It doesn't seem the same on here without you.

I am still sick but I am sure others will hold the fort down for you Send. Come back soon. We miss you when you are not here. :)
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West Nile is one of those things I leave up to fate, there is no way to get through an entire summer without getting bit by at least one mosquito, no matter how careful you are.
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What a horrible thing to do.... So you cowards think you're bad because you started in on me? At my house even? I still handled all of you, left one of you on the ground. So I came out my door and I got attacked.. big deal! You think you got me in my face, You're lucky I don't have any marks on my face. I have some on my arms, legs, and my neck but that ain't nothing! Bet you weren't expecting me to swing back since it was like eight against one. I'm too dang old for that crap.
Yeah I'm not gonna lie, I was getting tired of your crap and just wanted to get back to the house. But, I kept on swinging and making sure you got yours too. All I have to say is... you attacked me, not once but twice, you punks! And as soon as I ran to the house and you all followed me in, this time I went ballistic and sprayed your butts.
I had no choice. I hate mosquitos!!! Mosquitoes are not my friends!!!
Copy and Paste to see if your friends read all the way through! 😛
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Anybody get a few extra "Likes?". That was me, back to being me now.
Love,
from Sendhelp.
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Keep Calm
Slap Someone
And yell Mosquito!

More mosquito humor:
My life sucks. Other mosquito answers: Congratulations.

I hate mosquitoes. I know I am delicious, but da#n!

I don't care what people think of me. At least mosquitos find me attractive.
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Family version of mosquito humor:
Mosquitos are like family. Annoying, but they carry your blood.

Arguing with stupid people is like killing a mosquito on your cheek. You might or might not kill it, but either way, you will end up slapping yourself.

It's mosquito season again......As if I didn't already have enough blood-sucking relatives in my family.

A mosquito landed on my brother's face....easiest decision of my life.

Persons of faith version:

Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitos?

A mosquito landed on my friend's face, so I slapped him. Then there was another mosquito, so I said, Here, turn the other cheek.....

The pastor is so full of Christ that when a mosquito bites him, it flies away singing:
"There is power in the blood!"
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Just because they carry your blood, doesn't mean you have to invite them to dinner.
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Exactly Sharyn!
Swat them away!
Thanks for returning to caregivers behaving badly!
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The mosquito's are so big in Alaska,they jokingly call it the State Bird.
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Lol!!, MsMadge, good one!! I wonder if they do taxidermy??
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Today,I learned that if you spray a fly that's annoying you with Spic and Span antibacterial spray,it knocks 'em out just long enough for you to kill them.
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Sharyn...I saw A lot of different heads in people's homes and restaurant's in Alaska and I'm pretty sure there was a mosquito mixed in and I know they sell t-shirts there with a picture of a huge mosquito and it says State Bird underneath it.They really are extra large there.
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Blimey.

Headline today: "Son 'killed mother in Christmas lunch row.'"

"A man killed his mother after she criticised his efforts at making Christmas lunch, a court heard.

Mark Jennens, 40, tried to throw 78-year-old Hazel Jennens out of a house they shared in a Christmas Eve row over potatoes, jurors were told.

He is alleged to have frogmarched his mother, who had osteoporosis and lung cancer, to the door before pushing her to the ground in 2015.

Ms Jennens... broke her hip and later died from bronchopneumonia in hospital.

Mr Jennens denies manslaughter. The trial... continues."

Given that the three purposes of criminal prosecution are supposed to be: punishment, deterrence and public interest, which of these is this particular charge supposed to be supporting? Does anyone imagine this poor bloke is going to feel any worse sitting in a prison cell than he already does anyway? Or that it will help to make sure he doesn't push his mother over again? Or that it will teach other caregivers that getting frustrated and physical with their sick mothers is wrong?

I suspect this verdict will depend a lot on who's on the jury.
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I imagine the background history will be the deciding factor, if it is allowed to be heard. Was mom a narcissistic harpie or was son a drunken lout who had a history of abusing the women in his life?
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Gotta love " the holidays" and how they bring families together!
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