Mom with pneumonia, diabetes and coronary artery disease. Husband with early onset Alzheizmer's. I am so very tired, physically and emotionally. Stress is causing my diabetes to be out of control. I am under my doctor's care. We are currently trying to make the decision whether or not for Mom to have a quadruple bypass operation, or to let her live our her life with Congestive Heart Failure. She is 83. Her doctors have left the decision up to us (Mom, me and my siblings). She still has a sharp mind but at her age and with the diabetes not under control, I don't think surgery is the right answer for her. Any experiences or thoughts on this subject for me?
I have been told at least three times that my mother was too old for surgery and would probably not survive, but we decided to go ahead with various knee and hip replacements rather than have her bedridden. I have been told each time that she was going to be permanently mentally impaired from the anesthetic, but with patience and therapy she recovered.
We were lucky, and I would never counsel someone to do what we chose to, but good outcomes are possible. And after each episode I have been drained and exhausted, and my health has suffered, but I am working on taking care of myself too, and little by little things are getting better.
Here's another story .. this time more positive towards surgery. Edna (my client) has a congestive heart condition (tho no heart failures, to date), high BP, recurrent UTIs (due, in part, to incontinence and a prolapsed rectum) with the ensuing battles of too many antibiotics and the risk of creating a superbug she'll never beat, onset diabetes, high cholesterol, and had a stroke 5 years ago, with resulting vascular dementia.
I'll make a much longer story short. She got gall stones and a vicious infection. The options were surgical (with least invasive procedures) or antibiotic treatments. Both carried high risk. She has a DNR, except for procedures that improve life (not just prolong it).
Opted for surgery, after much consideration. Simultaneous to the surgery one of her long term meds was discontinued. Cut to a month later. She's in better condition than she's been in for nearly four years. It's astounding.
So, yeah .. everyone is different. You just have to weigh out the pros and cons.
Best of luck, and let us know how it goes.