my mum gets up at 1pm, I make her breakfast normally tea and toast then I make sure she eats something as shes diabetic shes not eating much but today was just too much after saying she wasn't hungry earlier and refused a sandwich I put the evening meal on at 5pm it was ham and takes along time to cook I was in and out of kitchen when she went "MAD" where the hell is my dinner im starving I havnt eaten all day.
I started shaking and ran to my friends house and now im staying the night lying on her sofa with AGAIN no movement in my back and in a lot of pain. I think im heading for a breakdown illness or not I cant live like this for much longer and wonder how much crap its going to take before I have a breakdown. I feel so bad for my friend as shes been working all day and I suppose the last thing she needs is me here crying but shes been a true friend and as her mum died from als she understands. I hate my mum right now and the fact that ive no place of my own and sometimes feel like nowhere to run AND hate having to depend on anyone for REFUGE its awful! I will head back now tomorrow and my mum will be in foul mood and banging doors I need help and think her doc needs to move his ass?
any advice god if only I had the money to leave here right now im sick with worry as to how much longer I can hold out I am living with a mad woman and I cant cope. I hate my family right now and cant even answer the phone when they call they have no idea how stressful this is. Carers are the victims of dementia is so true I don't want to be a victim I just cant deal with this. My mum will do what she usually does and that's call my sis and tell lies then threaten to kick me out this is abuse and I cant take it feel like crap and now know I need to get away from her or ill go mad.
calm down wont cut it now she is only happy when shes been waited on all day long and I cant live like this. God what would I do to have someone do everything for me except wipe my ass?
No matter how much you say its an illness its so frustrating to be exhausted from running around after her then to be attacked like shes not been fed?
I really don't know how anyone copes with this I think sometimes that we are not built to cope that its a job for professionals? I think if I had my own place to run home to everynight then maybe it would be easier? living with the person and depending on them for a roof over your head is the hardest as she uses this against me everytime the abuse is unreal.
I think I need a professional to tell her she cant behave like this? but then does it register its hard at this early stage to know if its pure manipulation or shes nuts? THEN am I nuts am I starving her or have I just lost all compassion and cant cope?
Sorry for RANTING but my nerves are in bits! be great if when I return shed forget the row but shes not that far gone yet!
Thanks for advice having no job or money coming in dosnt help it just makes you feel more trapped.
There has to be a light at the end of this dark tunnel and I know ill have peace one day.