Follow
Share
Read More
This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Find Care & Housing
Kazzaa OH and when you are the one your Mom treats like this it usually because she knows you are never going to let her down. Just remember she probably knows you better than you know yourself but you know her too you know her weaknesses her buttons and her strengths, this stuff goes deeper than illness.... it only took water to melt the Wicked Witch of the West ... Dorothy just needed to know that, OH tat's another idea watch old movies with her.
(3)
Report

I hear you ....it is so frustrating and like there is nobody that really knows what to do or say that helps. I had pains in the chest the other day and thought what good will I be if I have a heart attack. I love my mom but she would not want me to feel this awful trying to help her if she was her old self.
(4)
Report

Kazzaa, I'm going to say a few thing that you may think are going to be impossible, but, nothing beats a failure than a try. So.... yes!!!! remember E.T. and Elliot??? what Elliot felt E.T. felt, well your Elliot Mom's E.T.!!!! Next make "OK" your favorite answer with a smile no matter how you feel!!! and you can remember everything but Mom can't so tomorrow is a new day. What is a favorite treat??? A little spoiling (bribe) makes for a better Mom!!! Music is a mood changer, stabilizer. Do not argue it is pointless. Most of all take care of you!!! Oh that's another thing Mom most always like to remain your Mom!!! So maybe say can you make me feel better it may just make her slip into Mom mode!!!
(4)
Report

Oh its dementia all right if it isn't shes playing a nasty cruel game. my situation is a bit different than a lot on this site as im living with her not by choice but had a bad accident and had nowhere else to go. Im expecting some money soon from the accident and it seems at times the wait is unbearable my pain specialist says theres nothing more he can do as the injuries will just not heal when im living like this everytime she stresses me my back packs in its just ongoing.
No matter how much you say its an illness its so frustrating to be exhausted from running around after her then to be attacked like shes not been fed?
I really don't know how anyone copes with this I think sometimes that we are not built to cope that its a job for professionals? I think if I had my own place to run home to everynight then maybe it would be easier? living with the person and depending on them for a roof over your head is the hardest as she uses this against me everytime the abuse is unreal.
I think I need a professional to tell her she cant behave like this? but then does it register its hard at this early stage to know if its pure manipulation or shes nuts? THEN am I nuts am I starving her or have I just lost all compassion and cant cope?
Sorry for RANTING but my nerves are in bits! be great if when I return shed forget the row but shes not that far gone yet!
Thanks for advice having no job or money coming in dosnt help it just makes you feel more trapped.

There has to be a light at the end of this dark tunnel and I know ill have peace one day.
(4)
Report

I'm sorry Kazzaa...I know it frustrating. But if it is dementia...just try and tell yourself its not her. It's the brain thats slowly shutting down. By the time your mom is in her last days she will have lost at least 1/3 of it. Dementia is a horrible disease. The best thing to do when you are there and having to tend to her is not think of her as your mom. Only as someone you are caring for. Because truthfully she is no longer there. The person you knew of...is simply a shell. Its best not to get to worked up over things...as hard as it can be...try to be calm and just do a lot of nodding. When mom got really hard to deal with I would simply go in and do what I needed to do and walk out with out saying a word. Somedays...I would simply smile or hug her. The more agitated she was...as long as I was not getting mad or frustrated. That agitation would simply fade. If you can I implore you to google a gal on Youtube named Teepa Snow. She was very insightful on how to handle people with dementia. Just try and not take it all personal. Like I said, dementia is the brain slowly dying and they are not the loved one that you knew of before. Someone completely different and possibly someone that doesn't even know of their relation to you any longer. Its the disease. I hope this helps. Good luck and God bless.
(5)
Report

the craziness can sure tear ya down. my mother started with hallucinations and phsycosis for the last 3 months of her life. by then i was so nuts i didnt bat an eye at the new developements.
(6)
Report

This discussion has been closed for comment. Start a New Discussion.
Start a Discussion
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter