my mum gets up at 1pm, I make her breakfast normally tea and toast then I make sure she eats something as shes diabetic shes not eating much but today was just too much after saying she wasn't hungry earlier and refused a sandwich I put the evening meal on at 5pm it was ham and takes along time to cook I was in and out of kitchen when she went "MAD" where the hell is my dinner im starving I havnt eaten all day.
I started shaking and ran to my friends house and now im staying the night lying on her sofa with AGAIN no movement in my back and in a lot of pain. I think im heading for a breakdown illness or not I cant live like this for much longer and wonder how much crap its going to take before I have a breakdown. I feel so bad for my friend as shes been working all day and I suppose the last thing she needs is me here crying but shes been a true friend and as her mum died from als she understands. I hate my mum right now and the fact that ive no place of my own and sometimes feel like nowhere to run AND hate having to depend on anyone for REFUGE its awful! I will head back now tomorrow and my mum will be in foul mood and banging doors I need help and think her doc needs to move his ass?
any advice god if only I had the money to leave here right now im sick with worry as to how much longer I can hold out I am living with a mad woman and I cant cope. I hate my family right now and cant even answer the phone when they call they have no idea how stressful this is. Carers are the victims of dementia is so true I don't want to be a victim I just cant deal with this. My mum will do what she usually does and that's call my sis and tell lies then threaten to kick me out this is abuse and I cant take it feel like crap and now know I need to get away from her or ill go mad.
calm down wont cut it now she is only happy when shes been waited on all day long and I cant live like this. God what would I do to have someone do everything for me except wipe my ass?
My mother's worst day is usually on Monday. It is probably because her routine is disrupted on Sunday, when we go to church and out to eat. She gets to see people, especially the man she finds interesting. She enjoys going to church, but the next day is often difficult with confusion and anger. I wish I could take her somewhere like church every day, but she doesn't want to do anything except on Sundays.
Yesterday I went to the senior center for exercise and companionship. I did something I never do. I talked about the things I used to do in my job. I realized how interesting I had been at one time in dealing with alligators and criminals. Today I thought that caregiving, while seeming mundane, is much the same. Caregivers wrangle with situations every day that most people would avoid. Maybe being able to do this is why some people are caregivers and others aren't. It gave me some pride to think this. Caregiving can take a lot away from the self esteem, but there is no reason it should. We should be proud that we can face what we do each day and keep on.
I facilitate support groups in New Jersey for caregivers where we share experiences and find the best solutions.