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Take full advantage of those breaks, some people don't even have them! It IS hard to be so restricted, and to have to carefully plan every outing for when someone else can cover. And no, Mom won't break out in gratitude - she does not likely have the powers of empathy and perspective taking she might (or might not) have had earlier in life, and she needs what she needs, she could not really face the guilt of her needs taking up so much of others as they do, so there is that tendency to deny to start with. Do what you can to make Mom's life better, do what you can to keep your marriage strong, and yourself nourished, rested and healthy - no guilt when you've done your best! Don't hate on yourself for not being able to do it all or to do it all perfectly. It's hard to establish that "new normal." when this happens and life is turned upside down.
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Jesse mum is the same i think when those moods come shes having a ministroke shes in foul mood for a few days i find when she eats a good healthy meal it calms her down a bit? with the diabetes thier moods can be up and down you just never know when shes going to snap! Mum eats one good meal a day meat and veg other than that im done trying to get her to stick to a low carb diet she will eat what she wants like make toast with jam OR bake scones when im out? so i just let her at it less nagging her means less rows? something will happen as her bloods are all over the place but she just either WONT listen or just dosnt register i dont know but ive given up you cant make them do what you want anymore i guess as long as shes safe and eating shes doing ok? seems like your mum is slipping into another stage but ive noticed mums gotten quieter? i say dont knock it! I know its not a good sign but i am enjoying a bit of peace now we never know when this can change?
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Kazzaa, my mother is so complicated. She has never been mentally healthy, but with the help of tranquilizers, isolation, and showtiming for people has been able to appear somewhat normal. I think she even convinced herself for the most part. The dementia is removing her coping mechanisms. Usually I feel I am watching a descent into madness coupled with dementia. I don't think it is dementia alone. Sugar does have a lot to do with it, though I'm not sure of the cause and effect. I've noticed her sugar tends to go up when she is stressed and down when she's tired, even if diet stays the same.

My mother's worst day is usually on Monday. It is probably because her routine is disrupted on Sunday, when we go to church and out to eat. She gets to see people, especially the man she finds interesting. She enjoys going to church, but the next day is often difficult with confusion and anger. I wish I could take her somewhere like church every day, but she doesn't want to do anything except on Sundays.

Yesterday I went to the senior center for exercise and companionship. I did something I never do. I talked about the things I used to do in my job. I realized how interesting I had been at one time in dealing with alligators and criminals. Today I thought that caregiving, while seeming mundane, is much the same. Caregivers wrangle with situations every day that most people would avoid. Maybe being able to do this is why some people are caregivers and others aren't. It gave me some pride to think this. Caregiving can take a lot away from the self esteem, but there is no reason it should. We should be proud that we can face what we do each day and keep on.
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It is very common when people with dementia get agitated and aggressive. But , I always teach families it is not a person who is acting, it is a Disease.
I facilitate support groups in New Jersey for caregivers where we share experiences and find the best solutions.
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Practioner as we say here In Ireland "no sh*t sherlock".
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WOW ive been looking after mum with dementia for five years? you think we dont know its a disease? HELLO?
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