I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
She said, "All kids smell that way."
Confused, I asked him what he was doing
He said: "Just checking my balance."
You should never walk out of the restroom sniffing your fingers.
Being a B-to-B salesperson, he travels a lot the whole country. He said he was once boarding a plane, found his seat, listened to the flight instructions, engines ready, when the pilot turned on the speakers.
"Ladies and gentlemen, due to technical issues we will have to ask you to step out the plane as our flight will be delayed 40 minutes. We're sorry about..."blah, blah".
So, everybody got out, went to their phones, bathroom, coffee, etc and, 40-ish minutes later, they were called again to board. Engines turned on, plane started to move, then the pilot again:
"Ladies and gentlemen, due to technical issues we will have to ask you to step out the plane again. Our flight will now have a delay of another hour. The company is deeply sorry..."
An hour later, everybody got in again, engines turned on and the pilot, somehow forgeting the speaker open, said
"Aw, now f*** it!"
Went to the strip and took off.
If the snow gets much worse, I might let him inside the house
Sorry last joke was rubbish.
Their specialty is indigestion.
“It was a good night. Here, this is for you to have a whisky with.”
When the concierge checked it, found two ice cubes.
You know what never gets recalled?
Cake!
I'm sticking with cake
Friend: Australia?
Woman: No. Hell.
Ya, neither do I.
Did some else call to pay my bills, and if they did, why don't you let them?
I gave him a glass of water.
Two friends of mine that live round the corner from us are 'into' their cats. I think the last count was four or five.
Going past their house I noticed a plaque on their wall (which tickled my sense of humour). It said:-
"This is the cats home but the staff live here as well."
...
On second thought, forget about it. None of them work.
Now read it again without the animals.
Because they can't hear a word you're saying!
I'd say that includes me 50% of the time. lol
I think I'm starting to have a problem with my vision,
ever since I got married I haven't seen any money through the entire house.
What do you get if you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
Answer: A hot cross bunny.