I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Jamaican guy says " I have one on my privates too" Canadians say "what does it say?" Jamaican says "Good Afternoon, Welcome To Jamaica and have a Nice Day"
A big, red, rock eater !!!
John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital.
One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool.
David jumped in and saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.
He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital as he is OK
Doctor: "We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died."
David: "Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry."
"Doctor, what’s the problem with me?
When I touch my arm, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my leg, ouch! it hurts...
When I touch my head, ouch! It hurts...
When I touch my chest, ouch! it really hurts!"
The Doctor replies: "Your finger is broken."
A newspaper!!!!!
why did the man throw the clock out of the window?
He wanted to see time fly!!!
You drop something when you're older, you stare at it contemplating whether it is something you can live without.
you are absolutely correct: all of us have different senses of humor and we all have the same choice: read it or don't, and yes you are correct, no need for a personal comment
I said that's OK Ernie when I turn 80 I will date an 18 yr. old boy, and 18 goes into 80 a lot more than 80 goes into 18.
which he had gained through courage, diligence, initiative, skill, devotion to duty, thrift, efficiency, shrewd investment.
And the death of an uncle who left him $4,999,999.50.
God greets them and asks, "When you are laid out in your casket, and your fellow officers and family are mourning you, what would you like to hear them say about you?
The first cop says, "I would like to hear them say, that I was the bravest cop on the force."
The second police officer says, "I would like to hear that I was a terrific cop who died in the line of duty."
The last cop replies, "I would like to hear them say ... Look, He's Moving!"
You have the same choice as us all.
To read, or not to read.
Skip it, don't comment with a thumbs up.
Or smile and thumbs up.
No need to make a personal comment.
We are all (or most of us) here because of circumstance. We do not need snide remarks, we get enough of those elsewhere.
Buzzy
All of us have different types of humour. I know in the past that my humour does not suit all. I try and be thoughtful of others.
"She doesn't know how to wash correctly, that laundry isn't even clean, it all grey and dingy. Perhaps she needs better soap", she told her husband. Every time the neighbour hung the wash out to dry she made a similar comment.
A couple of months later the woman was surprised to see a nice clean wash hanging on the line. "Huh", she said to her husband, "Look at that, someone must have taught her how to clean properly". Looking up from the newspaper her husband replied "I got up early and washed the windows".
And so it is with life, what we see when we look at others depends on the clarity of the window through which we gaze.
About halfway through she leans over and says to her husband.
"I just let out a silent fart. What do you think I should do?"
He replies, "Put a new battery in your hearing aid."
For instance,
Take the simple phrase “secure the building”.
The Army will post guards around the place.
The Navy will turn out the lights and lock the doors.
The Marines will kill everybody inside and set up a headquarters.
The Air Force will take out a 5 year lease with an option to buy.
An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically,
"Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."
"Gee, Mom," I said. "You're on your last body."