I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
i know what the hell im talking about . until 6 yrs ago i drove a ' repaired ' 51 chevy truck . still have it . my motorcycle trike is just a bunch of glob welded , crazy sh!t , put together . my current truck is a 700 . 00 gmc sonoma that just keeps ' coming up ' . its now a stout ass little miniature dumptruck . there is NOTHING i would replace it , or the junk trike with .
i think the guys are paying attention .
He told him, “It’s good to see you. How have you been?” His friend responded with, “It’s good to see you too. My aunt died a couple of years ago and left me $10,000. He said to his friend, that was kind of her to remember you. That’s a lot of money.
His friend looked sad. So he asked him, “Why do you look sad?” He said, “Well, my grandmother died awhile ago and left me $35,000.” He responded to his friend, “Gee, that’s nice that she thought of you. That’s a lot of money.”
Still his friend looked glum. He asked his friend again, “Why are you looking so down? Is something wrong?”
The friend replied, “Well, my great uncle died and left me a quarter of a million dollars.”
He said to his friend, “Wow! That’s a lot of money. You can travel, buy a new car and put some money in the bank. It was so nice of your uncle to think of you. I don’t understand why you look so sad.”
His friend replied, “No one died today.”
She looked at me and said, "so your telling me I'm all screwed up?"
I will never forget that moment. It makes me laugh to this day.
like an axe wound in a gorrillas back .
never mind theyre already done .
" does this dress make my behind look big ? "
he said " no , its all those fn pies " .
socialism came dragging in ' more than acceptably ' late , and explained that he had to stop for a hamburger and there was unfortunately quite a line .
capitalism said " whats a line ? "
communism said " whats a hamburger ? "
They had gotten ready, all dolled-up, dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as they start out, the dog jumps back into the house. They don't want the dog shut in, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out.
The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."
A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid b*tch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her out in the back yard. She better not sh*t in the vegetable garden again."
The silence in the cab was deafening.
ya know how many feminists it takes to change a light bulb ?
two . it takes two . one to turn the light bulb and one to......
oh hell .
your going to have to use your imagination and finish this joke yourself cause if i finish it the moderators ' heads are going to explode .
>After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.
>You may not step out of a plane in flight.
>Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.
in Augusta -
>To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.
Portland -
>Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street.
California !!
50 Cent and Nickelback!
driving .
the nun has HOPE in her SOUL .
It didn't have no"body" to go with.
he has his cart upsidedown and is working on the wheels .
( #ors )
I met a magical fairy yesterday who said she would grant me one wish.
“I wish to live forever,” I said.
“Sorry,” said the fairy, “I’m not allowed to grant that particular wish.”
“Fine,” I said, “then I want to die the day after Parliament//Congress is filled with honest, hard-working, bipartisan men and women who act only in the people's best interests!”
“You crafty old bastard,” replied the fairy.