I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Fine , the lady replied . Just publish " Fred is dead , rangerover for sale " .
Okay, guess I have a quirky sense of humor. Your joke just cracked me up!
Some may be offended but I find it hilarious 😂.
So I was at Walmart earlier...
A lady was looking at frozen turkeys and couldn't find one big enough so she asked a stock boy "Do these turkeys get any bigger?"
He replied with a straight face "No madam, they're dead."
My cousin and I were talking about this situation, and he quipped, " We're like the Highlander series - ' There can be only one'. "
I laughed so hard. Still do...
mr " kind of a big deal around here " ( at the forestry ) is always asking how my day is going . im just so sincere and methodical when it comes to the task at hand that he isnt sure if im staying on or grabbing a chainsaw and cutting 60 people in half most days .
he asked me if my morning was going ok this am , in front of a few other people .
i told him that ive been feeling so much better after switching my morning coffee with OJ ---- vitamin -- C --- natural sugars --- , etc , ending up at vodka .
the guy threw back his head and roared . really broke some ice between us . in hindsight , i think he was being pretty assumptive to guess ( so quickly ) that i was kidding . they all know im a booze maker .
i just now caught your joke about the tomato garden and the imprisoned son .
hilarious , i'll have a blast with it for a few days . thanks
my detective LOVED it .
i sent your joke to my detective . he'll love it . :P
Too funny! Hahaha 🤣
nobody gets humor as distorted as the simpsons writers imo . love em -- always have .
My favorite poison is gin but vodka works too!
The only time I gave up coffee was when I was pregnant. Then after she was born, I admit I caved! Completely! Drank coffee while breastfeeding.
Well, you know what they say. What we eat or drink, the baby also eats and drinks. One night I had a nightmare that my daughter was nursing and instead of her consuming milk, she was drinking cafe’ au lait. Hahaha!
I woke up kind of startled by my dream, then cracked up laughing and I did cut back on my coffee after that dream.
since I switched from coffee in
the morning to orange juice. The doctor
explained that it's the vitamin C
and all the natural sugars, but
I think it's the vodka 😉
the innkeep pointed out that they only had a party of 13 .
" look , were all gonna sit on one side -- ok ? was the terse reply .
Smart phone - do nothing, it's magic!
Sundial - move one house to your left
Microwave, range and other kitchen appliances - you'll need a degree in electrical engineering
Car - don't bother, it'll be right again in 6 months
How do you get out?
You look in the mirror and see what you saw. You take the saw and cut the table in half. Two halves make a whole. Put the hole on the wall and climb out.
a biker is cramming down a country highway very late at night . its pretty deserted so hes speeding a little . out of nowhere a cop nails him for same . the cop says " im gonna get my lieutenant out here and tear this bike apart so you might as well tell me if theres any contraband . oh sht , the biker says .
" actually there is a gun in the front bag and the saddles are filled with drugs " .
so the cop locks him in his patrol car and gets lieutenant out there . absolutely nothing is found .
the lieutenant asked the biker " what gives man ? "
" my patrolman assured me that id find a gun and drugs on this bike " .
yea , the biker said . " i'll bet that f'er told you i was speeding too , didnt he ? ' .
its called " nacho mama's " .
Cute! 😊
The lawyer was stunned. These people were close to 100!
”But—why now?” was all he could say.
The wife replied, “Well, we wanted to wait until all the children were dead.”