I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Stay at home and save 100%
" oh my " said the priest . how long has it been since youve been to confession ?
ive actually never been and im not really of the catholic belief , said the old guy .
the priest asked " why then are you in here telling me this now ?
im just telling EVERYBODY said the old man .
So sorry about your mother. My mother took it, too, and had at least 6 to 8 teeth extracted. My mom took the medicine because the doctor was gave her the rx socialized with her! As long as the person socialized with her, she may have taken ANYTHING!😐
The nurse: Oh, really? I didn't know that.
Me: (under my breath) perhaps you should seek employment in another field of work.
Husband: Hmm... Don't you already have enough rolls (on you)?
Wife: ( to husband after making a good meal for him): You are well taken care of.
Husband: Well.. I'm not sure about that.. (sad tone), but I know I'm taken.
the ones ive had frequent contact with will probably ( avidly ) aspire to the hobby of home beer brewing .
still probably better than a smash and grab at the corner beer store .
‘In days of old when knights were bold and ladies weren’t invented,
Men used holes in telegraph poles and went away contented’.
I was very young at the time, and didn’t understand it at all (true). Now I know more history, I wonder about how ladies were invented after the telegraph system. Still, most of my primary school mates didn’t have a clue either!
the next commenter asked " so , exactly where is this fence ? " .
i was reading a clickbait story on the ' daily fail ' a while back about a gal who had a written list of do's and dont's for her fiance .
one commenter wryly stated that " she'd better be dirtier than a coal shovel " to get by with that ..
Two yobs are walking across Trafalgar Square, amid whirling pigeons (as in Mary Poppins ‘feed the birds’). One says ‘What would you do if a bird shat on your head?’. The other thinks for a moment and then replies ‘I don’t think I’d want to see her again’.
LOL
"When I told my parents that my husband has the flu, my dad said, 'Have you tried euthanasia?' and in the background my mom yelled, 'For the last time, it's echinachea!'"
The blonde flips her hair and says, "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago!"
The flight attendant says, "That's fine, however, you are in the wrong seat, you don't have a 1st class ticket. You must move to the back of the plane. "
Again the blonde flips her hair and says "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago."
This happens 3 more times, at which point the flight attendant doesn't have time to deal with this. She goes up and informs the captain of the situation and asks if he will please intervene.
So the captain goes out and tells the blonde that she needs to move to the back of the plane as her ticket is not for 1st class. The blonde flips her hair and repeats, "I am blonde, I am beautiful and I am going to Chicago. "
The captain bends over and whispers in her ear, at which point the blonde screeches, jumps up and runs to the back of the plane.
The flight attendant is amazed that he was able to get her to move so quickly and asks, "How did you do that so easily, what did you whisper to her?"
He responds, "It was simple, I told her that 1st class wasn't going to Chicago. "
You might get kilt
from nowhere the guy exclaims " i really love you " .
is that the beer talking ? his wife asked . im TALKING to the beer , said the husband .
The doctor poked his light scope in the old man’s ear and said, “Hey, you have a suppository in your ear!”
“Rats,” said the old man. “Now I know where my hearing aid went.”
"That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome."
"Is it common?"
"It's not unusual."
these clowns have evidently adopted an app that capitalizes sentences for those of us who cant be arsed to do so .
that or one of the moderators has chosen to pick up after me . if thats the case im in need of a live in bottle washer too . :)>
🤣 Love it!