I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
The Toilet Paper Strikes Back;
The Return of the Toilet Paper;
The Last Toilet Paper;
A New Toilet Paper.;
As the Toilet Paper Turns;
The Edge of Toilet Paper .
Toilet Paper for Tomorrow.
The young and the Toilet Paper
... people would just rather Like people who have a tiny bit more roughing it to do, shall we say?
I still think it's a jolly funny joke, though.
Whats the best way to get a Coronavirus test?
Cough in a rich persons face and wait for their test results to come back.
My hubby saw this meme on FB and thought it was hilarious:
I use to cough to cover a fart. Now I fart to cover a cough.
Haha
Man" well, yes we are".
Dog "I heard you've run out of toilet paper?"
Man "yes, it's very hard to come by."
Dog "I never use the stuff. I just have my two-legged friend trim the hairs around my b&tthole very short & do the busines. No problems at all!"
The doctor asks him how he's feeling.
"I've never been better!" he replies.
"I've got an 18-year-old bride who's pregnant and having my child!
What do you think about that?" The doctor considers this for a moment, then says, "Well, let me tell you a story.
I know a guy who's an avid hunter.
He never misses a season.
But one day he's in a bit of a hurry and he accidentally grabs his umbrella instead of his gun." "So he's in the woods," the doctor continues, "and suddenly a grizzly bear appears in front of him!
He raises up his umbrella, points it at the bear, and squeezes the handle.
The bear drops dead in front of him, suffering from a bullet wound in his its chest."
"That's impossible!
Someone else must have shot that bear," the man said.
"Exactly."
She frequently checked her speed gauge to make sure she stayed within the speed limit.
However, when she looked into her rear mirror, much to her dismay, she saw a police car not far behind!
And, to make matters worse, the police car turned on his flashing lights.
She thought to herself, "Uh-oh, what have I done now?
I'm not speeding.
I'm not drinking.
I have my seat belt on!
I have kept up my license dues and everything!" So, she pulled over and the police car pulled over to the side right behind her car.
She drove her car slowly to a stop, slowly rolled down the window, and prepared for a ticket when she knew she didn't deserve it.
A policeman walked up to her window, and spoke to her.
The lady pointed to her ear and shook her head, meaning she was deaf.
The policeman smiled slightly, and knowing sign language, signed back,
"I know. I'm here to tell you that your horn is stuck."
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look," she said.
"What's your secret for a long happy life?" "I smoke three packs of cigarettes a day," he said.
"I also drink a case of whiskey a week, eat fatty foods, and never exercise." "That's amazing," the woman said.
"How old are you?'
"Twenty-six," he said.
Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope.
You know you're getting old when you start having dry dreams and wet farts.
Her navel.
😂 hahaha
‘What about trying Viagra?’ asked the doctor.
‘Not a chance’, she said. ‘He won’t even take an aspirin.’
‘Not a problem,’ replied the doctor. ‘Give him an ‘Irish Viagra’. It’s when you drop the Viagra tablet into his coffee. He won’t even taste it, give it a try and call me in a week to let me know how things went..’
It wasn’t a week later when she called the doctor, who directly inquired as to her progress.
The poor dear exclaimed, ‘Oh, my g*d ! It was horrid! Just terrible, doctor!’
‘Really? What happened?’ asked the doctor…
‘Well, I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee and the effect was almost immediate. He jumped straight up, with a twinkle in his eye. With one swoop of his arm, he sent the cups flying, ripped my clothes to tatters and took me then and there passionately on the tabletop! It was a nightmare, I tell you, an absolute nightmare!’
‘Why so terrible?’ asked the doctor, ‘ Do you mean the sex your husband provided wasn’t good?’
Oh no, it was the best sex I’ve had in 25 years!
But I’ll never be able to show my face in Starbucks again 😱