I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
hahaha. Thanks for the laugh. How about? “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I want to.” I actually hate that song but hey, we could be creative with the lyrics and it would fit.
He screamed, “Mummy, you hit me on the head with a rock! How could you!”
I swore to him a seagull dropped it on him. Every so often, he’ll bring it up. I will never admit it was me.”
Someone responded to the poster above: “You should bring this up on you’re deathbed, but die before you actually tell him it was you.”
Ahem... Cwillie, your 2 sentence joke about the iron - I didn't get it. But I Knew it's something that my brothers would have gotten and laughed over it. I had to re-read it at least 6 times within a 30min. time table. I was determined to 'get it'.... I finally got it and chuckled. sigh... For me, that was a simple but difficult one.
And finally, the conversation ended when the window said.....
stop being a pane.
when I first came across this forum, I was confused by something I kept seeing. Posters making comments such as, "mom needs to go to NH" or "going to check out NH today" etcetera. . . .
I was puzzled why so many people had parents in New Hampshire! What's up with New Hampshire? Is there something going on there that I'm not aware of? Is it the place to be for seniors?
It took a bit, but I caught on.
#acronymsareyourfriend
Nothing gets done after the first bottle.
"Women: if you pack a toy in your bag, take the batteries out. Because if I’m loading your bag, & I hear it vibrating, I have to tell my lead. Then my lead has to come pull you off the aircraft. You have to open your bag & turn off your toy in front of a bunch of giggling grown arse men."
Awesome! 😊
All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.
I would be unstoppable, if I could only get started......
As you get older, your secrets are safe with your friends. They can't remember them either.
I've sure gotten old! I've had two bypass surgeries, a hip replacement, new knees, fought cancer and diabetes. I'm half blind, can't hear anything quieter than a jet engine, take 40 medications that make me dizzy, winded, and subject to blackouts. Have bouts with dementia. Have poor circulation; hardly feel my hands and feet anymore. Can't remember if I'm 85 or 92. Have lost all my friends. But, thank God, I still have my driver's license.
Remember: You don't stop laughing because you grow old, You grow old
because you stop laughing.
:) lil
Im sure this would be funnier if you
could actually see it - another meme on FB...
Its a pic of Hannibal Lecter - close up of his face. The caption is Hannibal saying “Don’t worry. When the food runs out - we still have each other.”
I stared at him bewildered, then told him to go inside & say he wanted to buy a car wash, pay and bring out the receipt. He does this, then asks me what he should do next. I told him to drive to the car wash, so he did. He seriously sat there & asked me what to do next. I told him to roll your window down, type in the code on the receipt, & then you drive in. He did exactly that. He drove in & we started getting hosed.
I yelled at him, “And you put the window up! You put the window up!” It never occurred to me that I would need to tell someone that you don’t leave your windows down in a car wash."
Cute!
*Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer you get to the end, the faster it seems to go.
*I’ll tell you a coronavirus joke now, but you’ll have to wait two weeks to see if you got it.
*What did the man say to the bartender? I’ll have a corona, hold the virus.
*The bank teller was relieved the masked person was a robber, and didn't have corona.
It must be!! I heard that the manufactures of toilet paper are working overtime to ensure there is enough TP for everyone; however, that doesn't help if people keep hoarding it! Right!!
I call my dad everyday and this morning I asked him how he was handling the stay at home order issued by his state.
He replies, "Just what does stay at home mean?" I promptly said, "Stay at home! It is not a secret code!"
Are people really not understanding what that means?
Is it secret code to rush out to every grocery store and buy toilet paper? Hmmm?
Our news had a story yesterday about the police arresting both customer and ‘personal service provider’ in a brothel interstate, for failing to keep the new 2 meter personal distancing regulation. Brothels have to close! And so ...bonanza for Peep-a-View!
Thank heavens laughing is still legal. At least it was yesterday, it seems to change every day.
For all these years he had never thought about the box, but one day the little old woman got very sick and the doctor said she would never recover.
In trying to sort out their affairs the little old man took down the shoe box and took it to his wife's bedside. She agreed it was time that he should know what was in the box.
When he opened it he found 2 beautifully crocheted doilies and a stack of money totaling over $25,000. He asked her about the unusual contents.
"When we were married," she said, " my grandmother told me the secret of a happy marriage was to never argue. She told me that if I ever got angry with you, I should just keep quiet and crochet a doily."
The little old man was so moved, he had to fight back tears. Only two precious doilies were in the box. She had only been angry with him two times in all those years of living and loving. He almost burst with joy and happiness.
"Sweetheart," he said... "that explains the doilies, but what about all this money? Where did it all come from?"
Oh," she said, " that's the money I made from selling the doilies."
... my prayer for 2020 is for a big FAT bank account and a THIN body.
Please don't mix these up like you did last year.
AMEN.