I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Posted August 2012
Jokes needed to lighten our day. Enter at your own risk!
I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor.
🍇🍇Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o) 😍😂😒
Jul 2, 2020
DOES ANYONE KNOW WHICH PAGE OF THE
BIBLE EXPLAINS HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE?
ASKING FOR A FRIEND
Sendhelp says:
Not too many understand my jokes at all. I think if one has to explain the joke, it takes away the humor. I doubt very much once 'explained' that it will be better understood. A multifaceted joke....
One might need to be Catholic, or understand Catholics.
Part one:
97 y.o. mom makes a joke. It has a question.
Sendhelp answers the question, 'as if' it was a real question, and not a joke.
Part two:
Sendhelp explains that Jesus performed the miracle because his
mother told him to. ?What? Nobody knows any men who do what their mothers tell them to, even into adultood?
Part three:
Sendhelp continues to answer the question about which page of the bible explains how to turn water into wine, by actually posting the referenced 'page', literally.
Part four:
It is one of those jokes that you would have had to actually have
been there....🌠
PS Since writing the above, I've just gone back to see who 'liked' it, and the penny dropped.. Someone was asking how to turn water into wine, to save on alcohol bills! Duh!
‘God is good. The Vicar is better.’
"I’ll have a corona, hold the virus."
The choir needs more sinners.
Sign in Church Hall kitchen: ‘After use please rinse teapot, then stand upside down in sink’.
!!
ha, ha, ha, your friend's mom just needs to be encouraged to take plenty of condiments which I don't care for, but I do like condominiums! or you could tell her to encourage her mom to take her adult toys with her like a walker and other such toys
LOL, 97 y.o. Mom.
Cannot give the pages of the bible, because there are so many different translations and paraphrases, all listed under Chapter and Verse.
John 2:1-12 New King James Version (NKJV)
2 On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and the mother of Jesus was there. 2 Now both Jesus and His disciples were invited to the wedding. 3 And when they ran out of wine, the mother of Jesus said to Him, “They have no wine.”
4 Jesus said to her, “Woman, what does your concern have to do with Me? My hour has not yet come.”
5 His mother said to the servants, “Whatever He says to you, do it.”
6 Now there were set there six waterpots of stone, according to the manner of purification of the Jews, containing twenty or thirty gallons apiece. 7 Jesus said to them, “Fill the waterpots with water.” And they filled them up to the brim. 8 And He said to them, “Draw some out now, and take it to the master of the feast.” And they took it. 9 When the master of the feast had tasted the water that was made wine, and did not know where it came from (but the servants who had drawn the water knew), the master of the feast called the bridegroom. 10 And he said to him, “Every man at the beginning sets out the good wine, and when the guests have well drunk, then the inferior. You have kept the good wine until now!”
11 This beginning of signs Jesus did in Cana of Galilee, and manifested His glory; and His disciples believed in Him.
12 After this He went down to Capernaum, He, His mother, His brothers, and His disciples; and they did not stay there many days.
New King James Version (NKJV)
Taking the bible literally.
BIBLE EXPLAINS HOW TO TURN WATER INTO WINE?
ASKING FOR A FRIEND
Today I’m putting the cockroach in the bathroom.
1) Add some M & M's inside and snack on the go.
2) Wear your mask to bed, and just slip it up over your eyes and use it as a sleep mask to block out the light, sleep better.
You got anything?
No, NO, not the paper, the toilet paper jokes!
I woke up exhausted this morning.
I dreamed I was a muffler.
The Peter Principal: In a hierarchy, every employee tends to rise to his level of incompetence. Laurence J. Peters
Parkinson’s Law: Work expands to fill the time available for its completion.
C. Northcote Parkinson
The volume of paper expands to fit the size of the briefcase. Jerry Brown
More to come when I get back from trip to town!
Business is so quiet you can hear the overheads piling up.
Business is so bad, even the shoplifters have stopped coming.
Oscar Wilde: It’s better to have a permanent income than to be fascinating.
Two of the town’s manufacturers met. ‘Trade’s bad’ said one. ‘I heard that your factory burned down today’. ‘Sssh’ said the other ‘It’s tomorrow.’
Before you argue with the boss, take a look at both sides – his side and outside.
The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up, you’re on the job.
And:
The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that, you’ve got it made.