I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
It happens!
Then it dawned on me.
(I guess that means I have to start my day now)
I told her yesterday on the phone something funny that I had created from her degree. I told her that I could see her wanting to buy a car made by Audi with the money earned by her Au.D. She liked that and had not heard that one before.
Well, the salary range for someone like her is anywhere from $60,000 to $200,000 per year and she's just started. We do have an Audi dealership here in town.
Fantastic! Loved it.
The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $100 please use the ATM.”
The old lady wanted to know why ...
The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave if there is no other matter. There is a line of customers behind you.”
The old lady remained silent for a few seconds, then handed the card back to the teller and said, “Please help me withdraw all the money I have.”
The teller was astonished when she checked the account balance. She leaned down and respectfully told her, "you have $300,000 in your account and the bank doesn't have that much cash currently. Could you make an appointment and come again tomorrow?"
The old lady then asked how much she could withdraw immediately.
The teller told her any amount up to $3000
"Well, please let me have $3000 now", she said. The teller then handed it over very friendly and respectfully to her.
The old lady put $10 in her purse and asked the teller to deposit $2990 back into her account.
the moral of this tale .......
Don't be difficult with old people, they spent a lifetime learning the skills.
Cowboy wisdom
What do you get from a pampered cow?
Spoiled milk.
(if it smells funny, don't drink it!)
But please remember the other half is 100% empty!
🤔
Cwillie I really like your test for covid. I have copied it and sent it to some friends. :-))
If God did not want us to eat animals, then why did He make them out of meat?
love the wine joke. Have to add it to my collection. 🍷
Why did the hipster burn his mouth?
He drank the coffee before it was cool.
Grandma looks worried but trying to understand. Then she stops to ask anxiously: ‘You still circumcised, Sam?’
Step one: pour a glass of wine and try to smell it
Step two: if you can smell the wine then drink some wine to see if you can taste it
Step three: great, if you can smell and taste the wine you can confirm that you don't have the corona virus
Last night I did the test 9 times just to make sure and all were negative, thank God. Tonight I'm going to take the test again though because I woke up with a headache and I feel like I might be coming down with something. I'm so nervous!
I would tell you a poop joke, but it stinks.
Why is the basketball wet? Because it kept getting dribbled on.
Told you it was dumb. 😊
He kept leaving littles messages around the house.
(our dog leaves littles messages in the yard without eating Scrabble tiles :) )
Thanks to all the posters who help on this, and thanks to the 'thumbs uppers' who encourage us. I was ashamed a few months ago when a new poster asked mournfully why there was nothing to cheer her up, and decided to try a lot harder. South Australia where I live has social distancing rules but no current community Covid transmission, so visiting the local Op shops, signing in, hand sanitising and then heading for the ‘humor’ books is a new hobby.
Why can't male ants sink?
They're buoy-ant.
(Just wanted to be silly!)