I decided to start a joke discussion because we as caregivers need our load lightened. We need to laugh at our own situations and those of others to take away the sting and pain we go through. If you have a joke that's racy then give a heads up at the beginning of your post for those who might not want to read your post. We need to avoid that kind of humor. Please don't come on this thread and berate anyone for their choices of humor. This is our place to let go of criticism. Thanks for sharing!!!! ;o)
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman's husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, "Dark in here."
The man says, "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a baseball."
Man - "That's nice."
Boy - "Want to buy it?"
Man - "No, thanks."
Boy - "My dad's outside."
Man - "OK, how much?"
Boy - "$150"
Man - "Sold."
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy - "Dark in here."
Man - "Yes, it is."
Boy - "I have a Wilson infielder's glove."
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy,"How much?"
Boy - "$350"
Man - "Highway robbery. Sold."
A few days later, the father says to the boy, "Grab your gloves, let's go outside and have a game of catch."
The boy says, "I can't, I sold my ball and my glove."
The father asks, "How much did you sell them for?"
The boy says, "$500" The father says, "That's terrible to overcharge your friends like that... that is way more than those two things cost. I'm going to take you to church and make you confess your greed."
They go to the church and the father makes the little boy sit in the confession booth with the Priest to confess his sins and he closes the door.
The boy says, "Dark in here."
The priest says, "Don't start that crap again, you're in my closet now."
The instructions said: Remove cap and push up bottom.
I can barely walk, but whenever I fart, the room smells lovely.
A little horse.
(Of course!)
What's an egg's favorite type of coffee?
An eggspresso!
(does a McDonald's Senior Coffee count? It does for 55 cents)
You crack me up.
(ha, ha the yoke's on you!)
An impasta!
To get into heaven you have to walk up 100 stairs but on each stair god tells you a joke, and if you laugh then you go to hell. A brunette gets to the 56th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then a red-head gets to the 97th stair and bursts out laughing and gets sent to hell. Then the blonde gets into heaven and bursts out laughing then god asked her "Why are you laughing?" the blonde replied "I just got the first one!"
Sometimes it's good to be a dummy!
I'm a blonde but I've been a few other colors in my lifetime so far. ;-)
On a lighter note? Hmmm.....
Hmmmm.....
Sorry, can't think of anything.
Has anyone seen this thread:
"Grossed out and need to vent- Just caught Mom using my toothbrush to comb her hair!"
It is also gross.
What's grosser than gross?
Ans: Two vampires fighting over a used tampon.
What do you call a witch’s garage?
A broom closet.
Hope everyone is enjoying the Halloween season! Do some pumpkin carving!
Holidays will be different this year! Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas.
My neighbor has his usual Halloween decorations up. I will miss seeing the trick or treaters that we always have in my neighborhood. Love all of the adorable kids in costumes!
They are too wrapped up in themselves.
They have no body to love.
They are afraid to unwind. 😊
Here’s a Halloween joke.
Know why the skeletons are so calm?
Because nothing gets under their skin. 😊
I can't wait to see her face light up when she opens it!
I love Monty Python! Funny stuff.
At 78 I have been in many fox holes including the great cancer foxhole. Never for a moment did I have any belief in anything more than that the tree buds, then blossoms, then withers and falls to nourish the next generation to come.
So I do not consider belief to be really a "choice" but rather something that we do have or we do not have. Almost like a gene for it, or no gene for it. I could no more make myself believe in anything than I could unmake myself if I DID believe. I put no man either up nor down for his faith so long as his faith is one of love, and respect for the faith (or lack of it) of others.
I have known many great leaders of many faiths, and have found them to have a surprising humor. I have known a Catholic priest who comforted Jews in the Concentration (as many Catholic Poles thrown in camps as Jews at the time) camps in the hours of their deaths, and the fact he was a priest was hidden from those who ran the camps, so loved was he. Humor is an interesting thing, and as often based on the hardships and ironies of life as on anything else. Think to doctors and nurses? Theirs is some of the most "uncomfortable" humor you will ever hear (unless you serve in wartime).
I think few means harm. I do not hear the "attacks" you claim on Christianity; I am afraid I often DO hear attacks on other faiths. All faiths are lovely, so long as they don't judge another man by their own beliefs, nor try to control him by their own beliefs. There is the law and there is religion; they best are kept separated, imho. Though not everyone agrees.
And I do have to say, I often find those who espouse great faith to be people who feel the religiosity and self-righteousness allows them to judge another by their own yardsticks. Allows them to judge in place of the master they worship. I don't dislike a whole lot of things, but self-righteousness I find to be fairly unpleasant. And those who sew division. Or hatred. Those to me are the things that are reprehensible. I don't worry about faith at all.
As to what trolls do? I think what trolls do is come to fight, to sew anger and division, to judge, and worst of all to accuse. We all have our own definition of trolls. They are not usually well meaning, generally kind, fun loving and happy people.
Actually, all ages offend, and make excuses. Not just five year olds!
I didn’t mean that anyone was excusing anything. Anyone can act in haste and not realize how something will come across. And their sense of humor may be a bit different than others.
Remember Captain, he had a crazy sense of humor!
I don’t think Sendhelp meant it that way at all. Maybe she didn’t even realize it would offend others when she typed the joke.
Be forgiving it if offended you. 💓 Duly noted but it’s over. Just let it go. No point in chastising her. It’s been addressed.
The trend now a day is that it's ok to attack Christianity, but if it was some other religion, like Islam, oh boy, that would not go down well.