So my dad has pushed me to the limit. I can't do it anymore. Going to leave and set him up with some wellness checks and elder services help. It has to be free or he won't sign-up for anything. But I can't do it anymore. He doesn't believe or trust me. His meanness and dementia has gotten the best of me and I can't take it.
In your position, I would involve dad in hiring helpers (a girl to do the laundry and cook)--put it into whatever terms he can wrap his brain around. Invite the neighbors to meet the help. Show the neighbors your paperwork and explain what the new setup is. Get phone numbers from them and give them yours. Encourage them to let you know if there's a problem.
You need to go to his bank and ask to see whoever deals with this kind of situation. Bring with you the POA document and anything you have in writing about him being incompetent. Discuss with the bank personnel how best to deal with it, If you have POA and he is officially incompetent, you are in charge of his accounts. Again go to the professionals involved.
I took the POA document to my mothers bank and spoke with an accounts manager there which was who I was referred to when I called and explained the situation. She told me what they could and could not do and what I could and could not do. Tell them the medical information - that he cannot live alone and needs help and you need to use his money to hire help for him and he is resisting.
What did other people do? Several have written what they have done. Some people notify the authorities and walk away until the senior ends up in hospital from a fall or such and then the system says he cannot live alone and you work with the staff to get him the care he needs whether he likes it or not. That may mean putting him in a facility or laying down the condition to him that if he wants to go home he has to accept help. No one is saying that these times of transition are easy. They are not. And the caregiver often has to move from being in a child-parent relationship or an adult-adult relationship to being in a parent-child relationship where the caregiver is the parent, and the parent is the child because the parent can no longer look after themselves. You seem to be having trouble with that.