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Friday update; just so you all know, Mom is doing well. The in house doc has convinced her to take a nap in bed every afternoon, to relieve pressure on the sore on her coccyx. When I approached this subject last weekend, she said "but I'm fine". We realized we needed a white coat to deliver this message. We've got the dental folks talked to, and now it IS actually the SW who gets told when the dentist is coming (I KNEW it wasn't actually her!). We will not do dentures, at least not at this time. Not sure how mom would react to the fitting process. Told the Dental Service manager "mom would as likely think she was being raped as think that she was being fitted for dentures".

I'm feeling good that the facility has become much more responsive. I probably won't be able to go see mom this weekend, because there is Flu on her floor and I only got my flu shot this week; my husband hasn't been able to get his yet. My husband has an artificial aortic valve and Dacron aorta; although he is generally very healthy, I've been told that flu or pneumonia could be a nasty blow, and I'm not willing to risk bringing that back to him.
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Good call ba8alo no point in taking unecesary risks. Glad Mom is doing well and the dentist is comming. Even if you did get the dentures she probably would be likely to refuse to wear them. 'They are trying to choke me putting those thigs in my mouth"
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Skipped seeing mom last week, both because youngest brother was visiting and because there was flu and I had just gotten my flu shot. Saw mom today, she's in amazingly good shape! She wasn't using the oxygen and seemed fine without it. She showed me how she is now able to manage her wheelchair breaks again, due to ot exercises she's doing and also because of the special cushion they ordered for her wheelchair, which, in addition to being good for the bedsore on her backside, also makes her taller in her chair. Good news all around.

I had a bit of a scare this week; had some chest pain along with a dreadful cold. I went to one of those walk-in places that are springing up all over NYC. After some discussion with the doc, he really insisted I go to the ER. Spent the night in the hospital. Seems to be an electrical thing. I'm having a stress test on Monday at my husband's cardiologist's office.
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ba8alou - glad your mum is doing well, but not happy to hear about your health problems. Good you went to hospital and are having further testing. Time to focus on you and your well being. Caregiving is very hard on the health. Let us know what they find out. I had a female colleague, quite young, who needed a pacemaker. She was fine once she got it. (((((hugs))))
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It is scary. I hope it turns out to be nothing serious, ba8alou. All our fingers and paws are crossed for you here.
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Thanks to you all. Will post tomorrow after the stress test. ( I need more stress?, amazing)
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Stress test and all other cardiac stuff came back negative! Yaaaay!!!!
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Yaaaaay!!!
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Good news, glad you had the tests done anyway.
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So glad!!!
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Sometimes my brother and just Crack up over what the NH calls with. I'm supposed to get medical calls, he gets falls and emergencies. So last week, they called to tell me that mom hadn't "gone" in several days but they gave me milk of magnesia and she went! Yay.

Yesterday they called my brother to say they were hearing rales in the bottom of her left lung ( the god one). Tonight she's on antibiotics for pneumonia again. Ah well, let's think good thoughts!
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Ah lovely! You must have been delighted to hear the news. I expect you'd been on tenterhooks, hadn't you?
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Hugs Babalou. I agree, think happy and relaxing thoughts.
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No BM in three days. Wow call me when it's three weeks and you have done nothing about it.
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Goodness, babalou. Your mother has nine lives. It sounds like there is almost no quality, so I understand completely what you said. Sometimes I think we should call keeping people alive when quality of life is gone "elder torture." Is she still enjoying life at all?
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I just re-read this whole thread. I'm so glad to have it as documentation. I'd forgotten mom had pneumonia as recently as December. Well, she has a really bad case of it. Zithromax in didn't work;they've started her on Levaquin, which is somewhat risky for someone of her age and condition. We've signed on for Comfort Care, which at the moment means no taking her to the hospital for this pneumonia and a standing order for morphine if she needs it. Going to sleep now.
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Sleep well, Babalou, and I'll wish for better news in the morning. Your mother will sleep better, too, for not being in hospital. Not nice places for anyone to be. Hugs.
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Thanks, CM!
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Babalou - how is your mum? Pneumonia can knock a vulnerable senior down pretty hard. (((((hugs)))))
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(((hugs))) Babalou I remember last year when I first had to put my Mom in the nursing home you were one of the first people on this site to ease my mind about different issues. My Mom is now in a happier place in heaven.

I wish you and your Mom comfort and peace.
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The levaquin seems to be working and mom is a bit more alert, smiling. We're going to sign up for Hospice on Monday,more care for her of the right kind. If they hadn't had to put in an iv for fluids to counteract the bad effects of the levaquin on her kidneys, i would have refused it. No more needles after this if i can help it.

Meanwhile, my sister in law, who i love and who visits mom almost everyday says says "well if you guys want to give up...." I'm standing firm on this. Thanks all of you, for travelling with me.
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Give up. Oh brother. Or rather oh sister in law. Accepting the inevitable + not subjecting your mother to onerous and futile intervention vs "giving up" - compare and contrast...

Try not to thump her, won't you :) And meanwhile I'm glad your mother is feeling more comfortable. Eyes on the prize. Hugs.
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Mom was dressed and in her wheelchair today. Smiled at pictures of greatgrandson. Ate a piece of brownie, asked for water.

When lunch came, I needed to feed her some soup. She was able to manage picking up a tune sandwich alone, ate a bit. She was able to handle the spoon for the cup of ice cream. Then, got an awful look on her face, wanted to be put to bed. SIL, who visited later, said that apparently she'd asked for Tylenol for a headache. Was smiling again later when grandson came to visit. Ate more ice cream that SIL brought. So far, she's improving, slowly but steadily.
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Maybe she just suddenly ran out of steam, Babalou? It can happen when you're under the weather, you just go completely collapsed and need to lie down, can't it. Good to hear she had a bit of an appetite back, though, and good that there are things she's enjoying. Hugs.
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This life that we live is precious but I am seen many things in my 7 years as a caregiver. Quality of life is important. What good is quantity? This dementia thing is terrible and it affects everyone in one way or the other. I have a good friend who has been on Hospice for 3 years and the can be a good support. Hospice is for someone with a terminal diagnosis. I think that a caregiver need to research all the options and do what they believe is best. God is the one in charge.
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Spent all day with Mom today, watching the care she gets, which is very good. No, we are not on Hospice. Don't ask.

I went up today because my SIL and brother called me last night...Mom was wiped out, sil says that the klonopin is too much, yada, yada, yada. She's got an MBA, I've got a professional degree in psychology and my brother is an Engineer. I.e., we're not doctors or nurses. I watched all day. I called my brother and said "I'm not interfering any more. She's wiped because she had pneumonia" (opinion of all the med professionals there).

Brother and sil are going away till Tuesday, so I need to be on call and visit again over the weekend and probably Monday. I'm going to try really hard to sit on my hands a bit.
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Sitting on the hands can get very uncomfortable. I wish you the strength to do it!
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You have done so much and so well, take solace in knowing you have done all you can. Even through her dementia she knows she is loved. Be well.
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Babalou, I'm sure you're perfectly well able to understand as much as you need to about the physiology going down :) - but you're right; and in any case suppose the meds are putting your mother's systems under strain, what then? Anyone have a better idea? It's that unpleasant situation of not having any very attractive choices.

Fingers crossed that by the time they get back there'll be an improvement and SIL can stop chewing her fingernails and stressing you out in the process. I know she means well, but how is she helping? Wish you a nice calm weekend with your mother beginning to feel better.
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Thanks to you all, it so helps to come here and vent!

CM, you hit the nail on the head. My sil so wants to "fix" this, in so fsr as things are fixable at this stage. She is our eyes and ears because she is able (and enjoys) to visit my mom frequently. So it's not like she's sitting back being an armchair quarterback. But it gets wearing.
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