Advice on how to deal with live-in mother?

Sha, that was a good one(mosquito) lol

Hi Girls,
Well, it's a very dreary day here in Providence, RI. Hope there's sun where you are.

Cathy, I know how badly you feel about putting Dad in Assisted Living. We had to put my Dad in a nursing home 2-1/2 years ago. It's not easy. But please do not beat yourself up. It had to be done. It's not your fault. I'm sure he's getting proper care and treatment and you can still visit. Take your son to see him too so he knows he's OK. It may take a while but your Dad will adjust, as will you, and you will realise it was the best thing for both of you. My Dad barely knows us anymore, if at all. He can't carry a conversation, can't walk, feed himself or even scratch his head. He's just there....existing. I hope I die before I get to that.

Donna, you poor thing. No one wants to start the day with an arguement. I hope things got better today. But I feel the same way you do, that bitch will outlive me. Either that or she'll live so long that I'll be too old to enjoy myself after she's gone.
Good for you though for getting the arrangements made.

Cindi, glad to hear sis is getting her stuff together. It won't be long she'll be on her own and that will be one less thing. I'm curious, was your Mom always so difficult or has she become this way with age? People ask me that all the time and I say, "No, she's always been a bitch."

Judy, did you get any results today for your Dad?

Marylynne, how's it going today? I hope you took the next step and made an appointment. You can't take care of anyone else unless you take care of yourself first. You spread yourself too thin, you're only one person. Get some help. Are there any agencies that assist seniors? In Bristol County, Massachusetts, where I'm from, there are organizations that will help with senior care. In fact, before my Dad went to the nursing home, we had him evaluated so we could have a caregiver come in each day, at no cost, and get him washed and dressed. Depending on the needs of the individual determines how many hours/days a week you can get help. It might be worth a try.

Maria, I hope you're having a better day today. It's a very tough situation to be in. Hang in there Honey.

Thank you to everyone for their sympathies for the loss of my daughters cat. It is hard to lose a family pet, they are so much a part of our lives.

Oh, on a bit of a funny note...my town had a mosquito that tested postive for West Nile Virus.....I'm like, Oh shit!! Here it is...I'm gonna die!!!

Hope you are all having a better day.
Love you all,
Sha

Donna, I hope your day got better as it went on. That is good about funeral expenses and checking account. Cindi and Marylynne, mom lives with me so wherever I go, she goes too. Don't want to move her anymore, she can't seem to handle it very well. I will just have to change myself against my daughter. Already started saying no to her when she asks for something. She doesn't like it but too bad. I am tired of dramas, so I guess I am the one to have to do something. I know that I will. Have a good day everyone.

Good morning everyone, hope you are having a better day. I am almost at my wits end again. No matter what i do or say, it is wrong. Yesterday went to the doctor with my best friend who has diabetes and is getting bad sores on her feet. I went, because she did not know how to get to the particular place where the podiatrist office was, so volunteered to go help her. I drove, as her feet are painful. was gone about 3 hours. Got back and mom complained about sitting all day alone. Then, Don came home from work, and wanted me to ride with him to see a friend, i went, and we were gone another 2 hours. (she was laying n the bed asleep when we left, so didnt tell her) when we got back, there was hell to pay. she said i wouldnt treat a dog like you treat me. run off and leave me here all alone with no one to talk to. Like i have said before, i have nothing to say to her that i havent already said a hundred times. anyway she acted like she was so terribly hurt by us being gone. I wanted to slap her again. She said it wont be long til you wont have to put up with me. I said hell no, you will outlive me, or else i will be institutionalized, as you are driving me crazy. first thing this morning, i said something about the coffee maker not running through very well, she said well, it was full. I said, i doubt that. because i knew she had only taken one cup out, and there was only a half a pot left. She said well, there is another thing that you tell me i dont know. I guess i just dont know anything anymore. according to u, i am a complete idiot. I said shut up, it is only 7am, and i am in no mood to argue with you. So the day has started. This week is so full of stuff that i think i am going to go crazy. Have 2 appts for son today. one for his doctor, one for group therapy. one at 11 one at 2, have to make 2 trips. then tomorrow at 1pm an appt for her with the eye doctor. She is so worried about money, but yet, she is insisting on going to a very expensive eye doctor, and getting new glasses.
Unknown to her, i have paid in advance for her funeral and pulled her checking account down to very little. Just in case i have to put her in a nursing home, they cant take a lot.
I need to take the xanax that was prescribed for me, but, makes me too sleepy to do all the crap i have to do.
have a good day if possible everyone. loveyou, Donna

You ladies are all so special. Thank you for being here.
Sha my bites are better thank you! Sorry about your mosquito bites I empathize. Put some cortaid on it that should help and keep the sores washed with antibacterial soup. Saw the nurse practioner for followup on those bites. She told me I am getting bitten and having problems with cellulitis cause my blood sugar is not controlled well...too high. Told her about possible bypass and she said good. She had me increase my insulin and decrease prednisone. Sha sorry about the loss of your cat. Losses are so hard.
Judy, glad you celebrated mom's birthday. You are right she would have complained that is why she said nothing to your comment. Will we be bitter like that at their age? I hope not. Maybe it is very hard for them to have no life left to live the way they want to. Is dad doing okay, Judy? Concerned about him.
Marylynne, I am on lexopro..never tried Cymbalta. Hope it helps you and works well. There are a whole list of good meds out there if this doesn't help go to the next. Remember, talk therapy must accompany the medication to be effective in treating the depression etc. Find that counselor! You will be set and on your way to a much happier and healthier life sweet friend.
Ply, hard on you...with daughter and bf and wanting you not there. Sad. Why do they act this way? I agree with Marylynne, time to be on your own if you can..well even if you can't rent a room? Mom lives with daughter too then? Unclear. Noone likes to be taken for granted. You deserve better and daughter needs to learn how to treat you better...or that you will stand up and do things differently so she will have to react differently. Good luck sweetie.
Cathy, my heart goes out to you. Exactly what you didn't want to do..put dad in an assisted living. I praise you for going through all of this and coming out on the other side. You must have been going through hell in making your decision but I agree with all the girls that it is best for dad and for your family. You will still be there for him just differently. Most likely you will be able to be there for him better in same ways. It is safer for him there. As far as your son. Some things we cannot protect our kids from. I think this is one of them. This is part of life. You were fortunate to have dad with you...but now time for Grandpa to be in a place where he needs more care then you can give. Talk to him...be with him...perhaps a school counselor....or talk with the pastor/priest? Together? AS a family..or even just son and you.
As far as my mom. Took mom and dad and sister to the fair. Mom got grouchy cause sister separatedly from us. Found her an hour later. Mom said I was mad and it wasn't her fault. I told her I wasn't mad. She said I am very demanding in my talking to her..I said I was in business mode and didn't mean to be demanding. She criticized the food I bought for their dinner...said fish again??? Meat again...always meat...your food is worse then the senior home...I thought (witch with a B)...needless to say I was not happy with my mother. All in all we had a good time at the fair though. I think it is good to get them out of the house..etc. Today was senior day so they got in free. We took the shuttle and my mom said she hadn't ridden a bus since she was pregnant with me..thought that was neat. I asked her do you feel younger?! After feeding them dinner tonight...went out til 11pm helping sister pick out a mattress..and get a phone, floor lamp etc. Bought some groceries to cook for tomorrow..so home late.

Tomorrow is another day...
Hope it is a good one...at least an okay one

Hugs
Cindi

I'm still here girls, don't worry about me. I will do nothing to myself, I will get ask them to leave before I totally break down. Today, I took another first step, I started taking Cymbalta. Any of you tried that one before. I have two very best friends that get me through the day by calling and checking on me. One of my friends, has the exact same situation as I do, but has alot more patience than me.

Ply, you need to move out of your daughters place. You are just being used and you would probably be happy in a nice little one bedroom condo.

Cathy, my sweet sweet girl. I know just how you feel, but trust me you are doing the right thing. I feel sorry for my 12 year old girl that she has to listen to her mother cry and talk out her problems with everyone. I can just imagine when she gets older and says, My mom had a nervous breakdown from living with her parents after Hurricane Katrina. Your son loves you and his wonderful grandfather and will remember everything that transpired as being caring and wonderful on your part.

Sha, sorry about your daughter's cat. My little dog, keeps me going everyday. Her sweet little face gets me through a lot of misery, so I know how you are feeling.

Donna, Have a nice piece of happiness.

Cindi, Love you as always, take care of those bites, my daughter blows up everytime she gets bitten by anything.

Love to all,
Marylynne

Cindi, hope u had a good time at the fair and u aren't itching so much anymore. Sha, I am sorry about your daughters cat. Our old cat died two years ago and we took it hard. Had her cremated. Cathy, your dad will be fine but will you? Talk to your son like Judy said. It could help both of you very much. Judy, I'm glad that u did something for your mom. U are right, if nothing had been done, she probably would have complained. Marylynne, how are you? Please let us know how u are doing. Me, don't know if I will be living here any more since my daughter and her boyfriend don't want me here. Like I said, I am good for babysitting and borrowing money from but not to be in the same house with them. Doesn't matter that I am paying my share. Oh well, so is life. Don't think that I am going to take this laying down. Hell no!

well the birthday went ok I guess I went out and brought Chinese home and bought a pineapple cake. Didn't really go overboard, she said last night that she didn't have anymore birthdays and I said even if you don't want them you would be upset if nothing was said she didn't say anything.
Dad is ok I hope to hear from the dr. tomorrow and then we have to have the stint taken out.
Cathy sorry to hear about your Dad but he will be taken care of and you won't be stressed out at home there is only so much we can handle. Just be open with your son at his age level and as soon as he knows Pop Pop is going to be alright staying there he'll get used to it.
Sha, sorry to hear about the cat I have two of my own about 4 months old and I just love them.
Ply, sorry to hear about the loss of your children.
Marylynne, please seek a counseler I believe like the rest of the girls that it is time.
Cindi hope you feel better.
Donna glad that you well be spending more time with Don.
Hope everyone had an easier day.oxoxoxo Judy

Hello everyone,
I have had a lot to read to catch up. I haven't been myself the past few days. I think I'm starting to come around.

Marylynne, Please listen to the girls. I worry about you.

Cindi, I hope you are feeling better.

Donna, It makes me smile to know that you have happiness in your life.

Judy, Hows dad? hope he is feeling better. How was your moms birthday?

Thank you to Sharon and Maria for bieng such good friends to all of us.

I signed the contract to put dad into an assisted living facility today. I have cried most of the day. I know it is the right thing to do for all of us, but that dosen't take the pain away. Dad has enough money to get him through the first year there then medicade will take over. He moves in two weeks. I just don't want to have to move him again after that.

I took my son for his football physical. He told the doctor that he is stressed out about his PopPop and me. He dosen't want to talk to me about my dad because he dosen't want to upset me. He has been seriously OCD about wheather latley. Now I know why. It is how he is copeing with everything going on. How do I protect him better?

Hugs to all, Cathy

Hi Girls,

Cindi, I was heartbroken to hear you talk about your son. Please take comfort knowing he's watching over you. Maria, your girls are together looking after you too. I have been thinking of them every day since I read of your losses. May God comfort you.

Cindi, I hope you are feeling better with those bites. I have a few mosquito bites and it's driving me crazy! I can only imagine how you feel. Hope you have fun at the fair.

Marylynne, I think that this is the best thing you can do for yourself. You've taken that all important first step....keep going. You need to do this. I can tell by your letters you are headed for a breakdown. There's no shame in getting help. I've done it and it helped me get through a very difficult time in my life. Hugs to you honey.

Donna, how's Don doing at his new job? I'm glad he's home now.

Judy, how did things go for your Mom's brithday? Is Dad feeling any better?

I'm not sure if you all remember a few days ago I mentioned my daughter's cat was not doing good. Well, the little guy left us yesterday. But it was peaceful.

Other than that things have not been too bad. Mom has been good. I think my comments are beginning to sink in....let's hope.

Love you all,
Sha

Ply you gave such good advice to Marylynne, very well said. Marylynne, hun we love you and are very concerned. Too much going on, overwhelming with mother, daughter, husband. Ply gave excellent advice. Please find a good counselor asap. I feel it's time to take care of you. Right now you need emotional help that is beyond what we can do here. I myself, see my counselor every few months. Helps balance me out. That, and going out once a week by myself. I am a big people pleaser and have seen it and how bad it can get lately. Going to the outdoor concert was fun but I went to please my girlfriend and ended up bitten to death and in the ER and miserable. I really should not have gone...money, caregiver..etc. I do too much and always have to watch to not do over myself. You are constantly doing over yourself and that is why you get so resentful I do that too sometimes. Counseling would be excellent for you and like Ply said if you don't like the first one then seek out another. I am afraid if you don't do this you will not be okay. I sense that your mother is the icing on the cake...but husband and daughter also are issues. One thing I learned you cannot control others but you can control the choices you make. How you conduct yourself...your boundaries what you will and will not take...will or will not do. From there the others will be forced to act according to the changes you have made for yourself. That is all one can do to get healthy. You are in my thoughts and prayers, sweetie.

Suppose to take parents to fair today...senior day gets in free. Hope it goes okay.
Still not feeling great. Have to help sister look for a mattress either tonight or tomorrow.

Love and Hugs to you all
Have a smooth day
Cindi

No, but you do need outside help. You have already given the first step so continue on. I do worry about you because you in dire need. You seem to be the kind of person who will give the shirt of her back and not expect nothing in return. That has to stop because you are killing yourself in trying to please every one else. Start thinking about yourself. Do it in small steps so you won't feel overwhelmed like you do now. That way you won't feel guilty either. Do take care of yourself Marylynne, remember if we ourselves don't do it, nobody else will. And if you find a counselor and you don't feel comfortable with him or her, look for another one. You don't have to stick with anybody if you think you can't trust that person. I was lucky to find one after my second daughter died but when she left and somebody else took her place, I stopped going. The second counselor didn't do anything for me, so why continue? By then everything was much better. It's no shame to look for outside help and don't let anybody tell you otherwise. You have a lot on your shoulders and we can be of some help but not completely. Take care and may GOd bless you. You are in my prayers.

Maria, definitely understand the not wanting to talk about it thing. Cindi, glad your daughter made it home safely and Donna, Great that your man helps with Mom and son and is going to be home for you every night now. What a relief.

Tonite I am feeling sorry for myself again. This time, in a different way. Of course, my Mom is evil, my oldest daughter creates havoc every time she is around and now my husband is constantly picking on me. I love them all and try to make life as easy as possible on them. I will do anything for anybody. I try to please everyone and it seems that my personality allows for every one to make me feel like an asshole. They say you let people treat you the way you are treated and I guess I do.

The other thing I feel quite guilty about is me wanting my Mom to feel bad all the time. She wants to go get a shot in her back and I keep putting it off, because when she feels sick, she seems to leave me alone a little more. I know it sounds quite selfish of me not to want her to feel good, but I can't help it. I have been trying to reason it out with myself, why do I want her to feel bad. The truth is the more sick she is the more reasonable and humble she becomes.

I hate myself tonite. Called the insurance company today to get counselor names for myself. If I don't find help soon, I think I am going to have to go away on my own. Take no one with me. Maybe the dog. I need time to hash things out with myself. Do ya'll think I'm nuts?

Marylynne

You are not being morbid sweetie..you are venting and sharing...No problems with that...Take care of you..

Hugs
Cindi

Cindi, I have 3 best friends and out of them, 2 have also lost their sons. One was your sons age and the other was 12. When we get together we talk about our children and it helps. We know how the heart and the arms feel so empty cause you wish with all your heart to have them with you but you can't. We know how impotent a person can feel when all you want is your child with you. Every time I watch Steel Magnolias, it hits me very hard but when Olympia pulls Shirley so what's her name can hit her, I start laughing along with my tears. That is something that one of us would do. Not to be disrespectful but because we understand. Along with the pain there is laughter too. We can't always be sad because life does not stop for any one. Don't we all know it. Maybe I feel it worse this year because less than a year ago, I lost a childhood friend. We grew up together, he was only 1 year older than me. Sorry, I don't mean to be so morbid. I better stop now. Have a good night everyone and take care.

As you can see I didn't do much today so lots of time on here. Donna I hate it when it is so hot like that. The news said many places are in the triple digits. Hope you have a/c. Even then it is still miserable when that hot. Don't do well with hot weather. Wilt like a rose..haha. Well daughter made it home safely. Had to call her before she called me back. Now I have to readjust life again with her gone. Am glad she is back in her element. Times have changed and it's all too much with so many to care for. I do miss her though and it's usually worse right after she leaves for a couple of weeks then gets better. Dad is clearing his throat constantly again, always does this after dinner for the last 3 months. Have asked 3 doctors what they think. The last one said it might be heartburn. I have to try giving him heartburn otc med. Maybe tonight. Well have a good night.

Cindi

Ply, I'm really sorry to hear that you lost two daughters. Heartbreaking, tragic. I also lost a child...a son who was 26 at the time. It will be 3 years in September. I have yet to clean out his things. Like you said there are times when the loss hits you especially hard. I attended a wedding a few weeks ago. I think I mentioned it but not sure. It was my gf's son's wedding. I thought it was very sweet when there was a mother and son dance...had a smile on my face for my gf...then they called up all the other mom's and their sons. All the moms with their sons...young sons, teenage sons, adult sons, baby sons went with their moms to dance and it broke my heart into pieces. I bursted out crying. I never do that not in my nature. I am a quiet cryer. I had to go outside and get air..husband came with me. My heart felt so void my arms so empty. My baby was gone and I can never ever enjoy him that way again. No Mom, Son dances for me. It's like a hole in the heart that never heals...you live you go on...you aren't the same..but you survive it...but the void/hole is there right under the surface of your existence. Anything, anytime the pain can get you, out of nowhere when you least expect it and it's as if it is raw all over again...right in the gut. I empathize, I sympathize, and I understand your loss, Ply. I am so very sorry. If you ever do want to talk about it let me know. Take good care of yourself at those times. I can't imagine two children. Some people in my compassionate friends group have lost more then one. I only have one left, a daughter who just left today. Husband took her to LAX to fly back to San Jose. I won't see her til Thanksgiving now. Got to see her for a whole week...(not enough).
Donna, the place I went had fleas..or something that bit me so nothing I could do but wear some insect spray I guess..but had no idea. Glad Don is home with you even if he had to take a cut in pay. You need all the love and support you can get.
Marylynne, Cathy...how you all doing?

Hugs
Cindi

Thank u guys, but not to offend anybody, I'd rather not talk about them. Some years their death anniversary or bd's don't hit me hard but for some reason this year it is. One day I'll tell u Marylynne. Donna, glad that your man is at home with u now. Glad for you. Sha, thank you.

Girls, good to hear from all of u Cindi, bugs like me a lot too, but, i have been lucky not to get cellulitis like you have. hope you get better fast. Maybe frontline is the answer. LOL
Maria, i am very sorry to hear about your daughters. I feel so small comparing my dinky troubles to yours. I have lost a grandson, a nephew, a brother and a husband in the last 10 years, so i can somewhat sympathize.
It is so hot here that you could fry an egg on the sidewalk, and i have to go to the pharmacy. mom wants to go, but no way am i taking her. too hot and too much fooling around when she goes. I want to get it done and get home.
yeah, Judy, truly i felt somewhat the same way in march when my mom celebrated her 90th birthday, but went the whole 9 yards and ordered a cake and had a big party for her at our community center. She loved it so much, and i was happy that i had done it. even knowing they are hateful witches, we still love them.
My man, Don, has put his truck up for sale, and has gotten a job locally. It doesnt pay as much, but he is here everynight, and that makes me happy, and believe it or not, he is a great help with my mom and my son.
Off to the pharmacy in the heat. love you all,
Donna

Maria and Cindi, I'm so sorry to learn about your losses. Please accept my sincerest sympathy. I will keep you, and them, in my prayers.
Hope you are all having at least a "decent" day.
Love you all,
Sha

Dear Ply,

I had no idea you lost two daughters. What happened, and Oh, how awful for you. That is the worse hell any mother could live through, just like Cindi,

Please tell me what happened.

Love,
Marylynne

My mom's birthday is next week and I have already ordered a cake. It is hard to celebrate moms bd because it would have been my oldest daughter bd too. She would have been 34. So what I do, is smile and wish mom a happy bd and in my heart I am wishing my daughter a happy bd too. My other daughter that died would have been 24 on Nov. Judy, but your mom a cake. Maybe she will appreciate it and maybe she won't. At least your conscience will be clear. Cindi, I hope your scratching is a little bit better today. And Judy, thanks.

Judy, yes I think it would be good to have a cake for your Mom and dinner out. My Mother also says things like "No use to live" etc. While we have them here even if they may not be deserving it is good to celebrate with them. They won't be here forever...although it seems like it. I worry about your Dad, Judy. My feeling is Love your Dad all you can now...Don't feel he will be here much longer. Sorry, I don't mean to upset you but that is what I sense and thought I should say something. Hope the x-rays and doctor goes well.
Sha and Ply I am with you my time is my time. Without it I cannot do what I do and have said so many times to my mother.
Spent the night up mostly.. scratching...I hate bugs. I think these were fleas. I have the type of blood that bugs love. Have an appt to see dr tomorrow for followup.

Have a scratch free day...
sigh (laughing a bit)
Cindi

Today is my mother's birthday I just asked her if she wanted chinese for her birthday she said she didn't care. Dad asked if I was going to get a cake I said I don't know. Is she deserving of attention on her birthday? the other day it was " I don't want to live anymore" if I didn't do anything for her birthday she would talk bad about me.
Cindi sounds like the birthday for your friend was fun sorry you are having skin trouble, I am breaking out when I go in the sun, theres always something!
Took Dad for his X ray today hope to hear from the Dr. on Wed. dad's having trouble breathing.
Marylynne I wish for your wishes to come true you have been at this alot longer then most of us.
Ply and Sha if you have a parent you belong here no problem is to small for any of us to listen and learn from. Love you girls, Judy

Cindi, I hope that u get to feel better. I'm sorry, had to laugh about the lotto. Sounds like something my mom would do. Marylynne, I do the same as Sha with mom. We all spend a lot of time with our parents and we need time for ourselves. So my time is mine alone. Unless it is an emergency, I won't budge. Hope both of your moms feel better.

Marylynne,
Mom doesn't take care of dad. She sometimes is home with him but she doesn't do any caregiving. Husband will have to do it. I already have dad's bedtime pills out and all he has to do is serve dad dinner, and give him dinner and bedtime pills. Mom did walk into the room a few minutes ago and asked me if I was going out to dining room for dinner. I said no, as I scratched myself to death like a dog. Just took another benadryl do going to go lie down some more. Hope you don't have to go the ER. Know all about that my Mom is a big ER person too. Hope the Aspirin and nerve pill you gave mom will do the trick. My mom is busy trying to take different pills to make her upset stomach go away...esp since I cant help her

Cindi

Cindi,

Take care of yourself. I know about the prednisone making blood sugar go up. If you are on bed rest, best time to take advantage of a little tlc for yourself. Tell mom to take care of dad and let you rest.

I also agree with Sha, about asking mom if she really wants to argue about this. Maybe that will put her in her place.

Tonite, me and my husband went to the grocery, I just got back and Mom has pains in her chest, (panic attack) and wants to go to hospital. Gave her another nerve pill and two aspirins, waiting to see if I have to make another worthless trip to the ER. Wouldn't be anything new, live my life in the ER.

Love that I have you girls to talk to,

Marylynne

Sha and Ply, thank you for your kindness. We all take care of one or two parents so we are all deserving of being here. Some have it tougher true, but thing is we all have to take care and deal with our parents. I agree with Sha, I think your mother is slipping into altzheimer, dementia or some sort of senility Marylynne. When people don't make sense that is because they have some sort of mental thing going on. Marylynne, I like the poem you wrote about what you would like. I would like that for you too, and for me and the rest of us. Someday, we will have that is my hope. Until then, here we are. Least we have eachother.

Husband took me to the Emergency room today. I have a dozen bites on my legs. I was just getting over cellulitis (infection of the skin) saw dr 5 days ago he gave me an injection and taking oral antibiotics and here I go getting bitten again! I am so itchy I am about going crazy. Dr gave me another injection and stronger antibiotics. Also, prednisone for the itching. Have to watch my diabetes cause prednisone makes blood sugar go up. Have to see dr in two days. On bed rest now have to keep legs elevated. Good excuse to not have to deal with mom as much. She came in here looking for alkaseltzer told her she had it. Apparently her stomach is sick after eating some banana cream pie and carrot cake. On my way to the ER she even asked me if I could get her lotto! I said I don't think so Mom, I'm not good ask Ricky (my husband) so she did. She hates to ask him anything. She was desperate. Daughter flies home tomorrow. Husband will have to take her to airport (1 1/2 hours away). He is cooking dinner tonight. Glad I choose a dish he usually barbaques. He is making the veggie dish too hopefully will turn out okay. I rushed and made linguine with white clam sauce yesterday for parents and mom said today it was salty which means she will not eat anymore of it. We have lots leftover but have to cook something else. I am kind of glad daughter is leaving because it is one more person I have to worry about what to feed because she is a vegetarian. Haven't heard from sister hope she is okay. Called her once and left a message.

Well tomorrow a new week....
Take care
Cindi

Hi Girls,
It's been a quiet weekend. But Mom mangaed to piss me off this morning. I told her I needed to lose some weight and asked her not to make me supper anymore. So she says, "So, you're blaming me because you put on weight?" I was flabberghasted and said, "Why do you have to be that way, I never said any such thing." She said, "yes you did, you said it was my fault you put on weight." At this point the best thing to do was walk away.
Marylynne, honey, my heart breaks for you. My advice is to treat her like the child she is behaving as. Say things like, Yes, Mom, whatever you say." You need to stoop to her level. Or do like I do and say, "seriously Ma, you really want to argue about this?" I really do believe she's displaying signs of Dementia. God Bless, sweetie, hang in there.
Donna, Judy, Cindi, Maria, Susan, CAT, you are amazing what you do for your families. Compared to you, I don't even belong in this forum. As I mentioned before, Dad is in a nursing home and Mom lives with me but does not really need any personal care....it's just that she makes me nuts with all the stupid sh*t she says and how sharp that tongue of hers is. You all are saints. Please know, in the end, you will have no regrets and will take comfort knowing, that even though you didn't like doing it...you did it. And no one can ever take that away from you.
Have a good night, God Bless,
Love you all,
Sha

Just my thoughts for the day:

I long for the day when I can get up and do what I want to do.
I long for the day when I can leave the house without worrying what their going to eat for lunch or dinner or if they will take ill.
I long for the day when I can go out with my husband without reporting where I am going and when I will be back.
I long for the day when I don't have to go check on any one but my own child before I go to bed.
I long for the day when I will wake up with no complaints from mean old people.
I long for the day when I can say I am happy, because I don't think I have ever been except, for the day I had both of my children.
I long for the day that I will have a life of my own.

Love,
marylynne