Although a lot of us are working 24/7.....can we have a forum tonight to chat about anything BUT caregiving? Tell a joke,reminisce about our misspent youth,talk about what we cooked for dinner,make fun of Kim and Kanye's stupid baby name?????
I declare HAPPY HOUR!
Cheers and Happy Friday to all, Kuli
Ben Franklin said: "In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria".
In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) --- the bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.
However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.
Remember:
Water = Poop,
Wine = Health
Therefore, it's better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of shit.
Cheers!
I'm not wearing my watch, so I'm not sure what time it is. Wink wink. Cap'n you deserve a reward. AC mandatory for the next couple weeks. Drink lotsa water, too, and for all elders who cannot ask for it themselves. One of my pet peeves at the care home. They hate me there, I'm such a nag. I'll just have another margarita and fagedaboutit. Cheetos flying through the air!
heres a good one too. a biker was pulled over late one night for speeding. as the officer questioned him he admitted that his bags were full of drugs that hed stolen from the man hed recently murdered and there was indeed a weapon on the bike. the patrolman called his superior to have a look and the biker agreed to a vehicle search. the vehicle search turned up nothing in the line of weapons or drugs. the seargeant told the biker that this was confusing as the arresting patrollman had reason to believe that guns and drugs would be found. yea, right, the biker blurted out. ill bet the prick probably told you i was speeding too.. he ha har..
BTW-my "discussion" about being a better caregiver was in jest-please note-I do NOT think I am a better caregiver!!!
Alrighty then, going out on my deck to relax. Be back in a bit.
Ummm-for a funny --one time my husband sold newspaper ads. True story. This outlet guy bought a full page ad for his big sale!-big bucks!---only thing is my husband accidentally put in the ad----"WE ARE UNDER STOCKED AND OVER PRICED!!!". Needless to say he does not sell newspaper ads anymore!
Captain~Funny!! That is one hell of a chicken!!
Sorry I don't any jokes to share but I love reading what you all are posting. Keep it coming maybe it will rejuvenate some of my dead brain cells...is it 5 yet??? Oh darn...it is only 3:20 here. I had lunch so I guess it is ok to have a beer now!!
Love the jokes and wisdom from Kuli and the jokes from the Cap.
Christina! wassup!
Happy Friday to all and thanks again Boni for a great thread.
ok, I have to go up the dock for a pot luck. If I'm lucky there will be some pot.
lovbob
Mishka, didn't you tell me that You are the BEST Caregiver? I thought you told me that one day...? Lol xo
r
Let's just have fun! Even if someone tries to pee on us! Laugh! WhooHoo!
Love the jokes guys! I am sooo bad at telling jokes. And don't really know any. All I have a true wacky stories. Like the time my roommate in college( years ago) came into our dorm one day and asked if I wanted to go away for the weekend to a cabin in West Virginia with a guy friend of hers and some of his buddies. Now being a "hippie" back then and quite carefree I said "sure!". Well, when we got to their delaptited truck we saw that we were the only girls with about six guys and lots of guns and a keg of beer. We were crossing state lines and we were all nervous as we were under age and at least one of the guns was illegal. So I turned to my roommate's friend and said " OK-here is the deal-if we get pulled over I am punching myself in the face and ripping my clothes and telling the police you kidnapped me" he shrugged and said " what the heck, it won't make that big of a difference anyways". TRUE! Funniest part--I ended up marrying one of those guys!
(the dog and his balls)
Loved the chicken joke cap'n!
orange blossoms - LOL!! I think I peed a little...
Feel like I'm running behind, trying to catch up....sitting here sipping on ice water....oops, I mean ice...poop? Ahhhggh! I failed to prepare! All out of wine and forgot to put a couple of beers in to chill. Got no Cheetos either, but I did find a partial bag of Doritos....? Now all I have to do is find where I put my....my....what was I looking for?
A: get another sweet 80 yr. old lady to yell BINGO!
For sale: Parachute. Only used once. Never opened.
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.